Custom Search
Aristophanes
Birds
414 BC
Translator’s Note
This translation
by Ian Johnston of Malaspina University-College, Nanaimo, BC, (now Vancouver
Island University) has certain copyright restrictions. For information
please use the following link: Copyright.
For comments or question please contact Ian
Johnston.
This text is available
in the form of a Publisher file for those who would like to print it off as a
small book. There is no charge for these files. For details, please
use the following link: Publisher
files. A printed paperback book of this text is available from Richer Resources
Publications.
Note
that in the following translation the normal numbers refer to this text, while
the numbers in square brackets refer to the Greek text. Links to
explanatory endnotes are indicated by an asterisk (*).
The translator would
like to acknowledge the very valuable help he received from the notes in Alan
H. Sommerstein’s edition of The Birds (Warminster: Aris and Phillips,
1987).
For
comments, questions, suggestions for improvement, and so on, please contact Ian
Johnston at Malaspina University-College, 900 Fifth Street, Nanaimo, BC,
Canada, V9R 5S5 or at johnstoi@mala.bc.ca.
Historical Note
The Birds was first produced at the drama festival
in 414 BC, where it won second prize. At this period, during the Peloponnesian
War, Athens was very powerful and confident, having just launched the
expedition to Sicily, fully expecting to triumph in that venture and in the
larger war.
Birds
Dramatis Personae
PISTHETAIROS: a middle-aged Athenian
EUELPIDES: a middle-aged Athenian
SERVANT-BIRD: a slave serving Tereus, once a man
TEREUS: a hoopoe bird, once a man
FLAMINGO
PEACOCK
A SECOND HOOPOE
GLUTTON-BIRD: a fictitious species
CHORUS LEADER
CHORUS: of birds
XANTHIAS: slave serving Pisthetairos
MANODOROS: slave serving Euelpides, also called MANES.
PROCNE: a nightingale with a woman’s body, consort of Tereus.
PRIEST
POET
ORACLE MONGER: a collector and interpreter of oracles
METON: a land surveyor
COMMISSIONER OF COLONIES: an Athenian official
STATUTE SELLER: man who sells laws
FIRST MESSENGER: a construction-worker bird
SECOND MESSENGER: a soldier bird
IRIS: messenger goddess, daughter of Zeus
FIRST HERALD: a bird
YOUNG MAN: young Athenian who wants to beat up his father
CINESIAS: a very bad dithyrambic poet and singer
SYCOPHANT: a common informer
PROMETHEUS: the Titan
POSEIDON: god of the sea, brother of Zeus
HERCULES: the legendary hero, now divine
TRIBALLIAN GOD: an uncouth barbarian god
PRINCESS: a divine young lady
SECOND HERALD
Scene: A rugged,
treed wilderness area up in the rocky hills. Enter Pisthetairos and Euelpides,
both very tired. They are clambering down from the rocky heights towards the
level stage. Pisthetairos has a crow perched on his arm or shoulder, and
Euelpides has a jackdaw. Both Pisthetairos and Euelpides are carrying packs on
their back. They are followed by two slaves carrying more bags. The slaves stay
well out of the way until they get involved in the action later on.
EUELPIDES [speaking
to the bird he is carrying]
Are you telling us to keep
going straight ahead?
Over there by that tree?
PISTHETAIROS
Blast this bird—
it’s croaking for us to
head back, go home.
EUELPIDES
Why are we wandering up and down
like this?
You’re such a fool—this endless weaving round
will kill us both.
PISTHETAIROS
I must be an idiot
to keep hiking on along
these pathways,
a hundred miles at
least, and just because
that’s what this crow
keeps telling me to do.
EUELPIDES
What about me? My poor
toe nails are thrashed. 10
I’ve worn them out
because I’m following
what this jackdaw says.
PISTHETAIROS [looking
around]
I have no idea
where on earth we are.
EUELPIDES
You mean from here
you couldn’t
make it back
to your
place?
[10]
PISTHETAIROS:
No way—not even Execestides
could manage that.*
EUELPIDES
We’re in a real mess.
PISTHETAIROS
Well, you could try
going along that pathway.
[The two
men start exploring different paths down to opposite sides of the stage]
EUELPIDES
We two were conned by
that Philokrates,
the crazy vendor in the
marketplace
who sells his birds on
trays. He claimed these
two 20
would take us
straight to Tereus the hoopoe,
a man who years ago
became a bird.
That’s why we paid an
obol for this one,
this jackdaw, son of
Tharreleides.*
and three more for the
crow. And then what?
The two know nothing,
except how to bite.
[The jackdaw with
Euelpides begins to get excited about something. Euelpides talks to the bird]
What’s got your
attention now? In those
rocks? [20]
You want to take us
there? There’s no way through.
PISTHETAIROS [calling
across the stage to Euelpides]
By god, the same thing
over here, no road.
EUELPIDES
What’s
your crow saying about the
pathway? 30
PISTHETAIROS
By god,
it’s not cawing what it did before.
EUELPIDES
[shouting]
But
what’s it saying about the road?
PISTHETAIROS
Nothing—
it’s
saying nothing, just keeps on croaking—
something
about biting my fingers off.
EUELPIDES
[addressing the audience]
Don’t you
think it’s really odd the two of us,
ready and
eager to head off for the birds,*
just
can’t find the way. You see, we’re not well.
All you
men sitting there to hear our
words,
[30]
we’re ill
with a disease, not like the one
which
Sacas suffers,* no—the
opposite.
40
He’s no
true citizen, yet nonetheless
he’s
pushing his way in by force, but we,
both
honoured members of our tribe and clan,*
both
citizens among you citizens,
with no
one trying to drive us from the city,
have
winged our way out of our native land
on our
two feet. We don’t hate the city
because
we think it’s not by nature great
and truly
prosperous—open to all,
so they
can spend their money paying
fines.
50
Cicadas
chirp up in the trees a while,
a month
or two, but our Athenians
[40]
keep
chirping over lawsuits all their lives.
That’s
why right now we’ve set off on this trip,
with all
this stuff—basket, pot, and myrtle boughs.*
We’re
looking for a nice relaxing spot,
where we
can settle down, live out our lives.
We’re
heading for Tereus, that hoopoe bird—
we’d like
to know if in his flying around
he’s seen
a city like the one we
want.
60
PISTHETAIROS
Hey!
EUELPIDES
What?
PISTHETAIROS
My
crow keeps cawing upwards—
up there.
EUELPIDES
My
jackdaw’s
looking up there,
too,
[50]
as if it
wants to show me something.
There
must be birds around these rocks. I know—
let’s
make noise and then we’ll see for sure.
PISTHETAIROS
You know
what you should do? Kick that outcrop.
EUELPIDES
Why not
use your head? There’d be twice the noise.
[Pisthetairos
and Euelpides start climbing back up the rocky outcrops towards a door in the
middle of the rocks]
PISTHETAIROS
Pick up a
stone and then knock on the door.
EUELPIDES
All right.
Here I go.
[Euelpides
knocks very loudly on the door and calls out]
Hey,
boy . . . boy!
PISTHETAIROS
What are
you saying? Why call the hoopoe
“boy”? 70
Don’t say
that—you should call out
[giving a bird call]
“hoopoe-ho.”
EUELPIDES
[knocking on the door and calling again]
Hoopoe-ho! . . . Should I knock
again? . . . Hoopoe-ho!
SERVANT-BIRD
[inside]
Who is
it? Who’s shouting for my
master?
[60]
[The
door opens and an actor-bird emerges. He has a huge beak which terrifies
Euelpides and Pisthetairos They fall back in fear, and the birds they have been carrying disappear]
EUELPIDES
My lord
Apollo, save us! That gaping beak—
SERVANT-BIRD
[also frightened]
Oh, oh, now we’re in for it.
You two men,
you’re bird-catchers!
EUELPIDES
Don’t
act so weird!
Can’t you say something nice?
SERVANT-BIRD
[trying to scare them off]
You
two
men will die!
EUELPIDES
But we’re
not men.
SERVANT-BIRD
What?
What are you, then?
EUELPIDES
Well . . .
I’m a chicken-shitter . . . a Libyan bird . . .
SERVANT-BIRD
That’s
rubbish.
EUELPIDES
No, it’s not—I’ve
just dropped my load— 80
down both my legs. Take a look.
SERVANT-BIRD
And this one here?
What kind of bird is he?
[to Pisthetairos]
Can you speak?
PISTHETAIROS
Me? . . .
a crapper-fowl . . . from Phasis.
EUELPIDES
God knows
what kind of animal you are!
SERVANT-BIRD
I’m a
servant bird.
EUELPIDES
Beaten
by some
rooster
[70]
in a cock fight?
SERVANT-BIRD
No. It was my master—
when he became a hoopoe, well,
I prayed
that I could turn into a bird.
That way
he’d still have me to serve
and wait on him.
EUELPIDES
Does
a
bird need his own butler
bird? 90
SERVANT-BIRD
He does—I think it’s got something to do
with the fact that earlier he was a
man.
So if he wants to taste some fish
from Phalerum,
I grab a plate and run off for
sardines.
If he wants soup, we need
pot and ladle,
so I dash off for the spoon.
EUELPIDES
A
runner bird—
that’s what you are. Well, my
little runner,
do you know what we’d
like to
have you
do?
[80]
Go call your master for us.
SERVANT-BIRD
But
he’s asleep—
for heaven’s sake, his
after-dinner snooze— 100
he’s just had gnats and myrtle berries.
EUELPIDES
Wake him up anyway.
SERVANT-BIRD
I
know for sure
he’ll be annoyed, but I’ll do
it, just for you.
[Exit Servant-Bird
back through the doors]
PISTHETAIROS
Damn that bird—he scared me half to death.
EUELPIDES
Bloody hell—he frightened off my bird!
PISTHETAIROS
You’re such a coward—the worst there is.
Were
you so scared you let that jackdaw go?
EUELPIDES
What about you? Didn’t you
collapse
and
let your crow escape?
PISTHETAIROS
Not me, by god.
EUELPIDES
Where is it then?
PISTHETAIROS
It flew off on its
own. 110 [90]
EUELPIDES
You didn’t let go? What a
valiant man!
TEREUS: [from
inside, speaking in a grand style]
Throw
open this wood, so I may issue forth.
[The
doors open. Enter Tereus, a hoopoe bird, with feathers on his head and wings
but none on his body. He struts and speaks with a ridiculously affected
confidence. Euelpides and Pisthetairos are greatly amused at his appearance]
EUELPIDES
O Hercules, what kind of beast is this?
What’s
that plumage? What sort of triple crest?
TEREUS
Who are the persons here who
seek me out?
EUELPIDES
The twelve gods, it seems, have
worked you over.*
TEREUS
Does seeing my feathers make you
scoff at me?
Strangers,
I was once upon a time a man.
EUELPIDES
It’s not you we’re laughing at.
TEREUS
Then what is it?
EUELPIDES
It’s your beak—to us it looks quite
funny. 120
TEREUS
It’s how Sophocles distorts
Tereus—
[100]
that’s me—in his tragedies.
EUELPIDES
You’re Tereus?
Are you a peacock or a bird?*
TEREUS
I am a bird.
EUELPIDES
Then where are all your feathers?
TEREUS
They’ve fallen off.
EUELPIDES
Have you got some disease?
TEREUS
No, it’s not that.
In winter time all birds shed their
feathers,
then new ones grow again. But tell me
this—
who are the two of you?
EUELPIDES
Us? We’re human beings.
TEREUS
From what race were you born?
EUELPIDES
Our origin?
In Athens—which makes the finest
warships. 130
TEREUS
Ah, so you’re jury-men, are you?
EUELPIDES
No, no.
We’re different—we keep away from juries.
TEREUS
Does that seedling flourish in
those
parts?
[110]
EUELPIDES
If you go searching in the
countryside,
you’ll find a few.
TEREUS
So why have you come
here?
What do you need?
EUELPIDES
To talk to you.
TEREUS
What for?
EUELPIDES
Well, you were once a man, as we
are now.
You owed people money, as we do now.
You loved to skip the debt, as we do
now.
Then you changed your nature, became a
bird. 140
You fly in circles over land and sea.
You’ve learned whatever’s known to
birds and men.
That’s why we’ve come as suppliants to
you,
[120]
to ask if you can tell us of some
town,
where life is sheepskin soft, where we
can sleep.
TEREUS
Are you looking for a mighty
city,
more powerful than what Cranaus built?*
EUELPIDES
Not one more powerful, no. What
we want
is one which better suits the two of
us.
TEREUS
You clearly want an aristocracy.
150
EUELPIDES
Me? No, not at all. The son of
Scellias
is someone I detest.*
TEREUS
All right, then,
What kind of city would you like to
live in?
EUELPIDES
I’d like a city where my biggest
problem
would be something like this—in the morning
a friend comes to my door and says to
me,
“In the name of Olympian Zeus, take a
bath,
[130]
an early one, you and your children,
then come to my place for the wedding
feast
I’m putting on. Don’t disappoint me
now.
160
If you do, then don’t come looking for
me
when my affairs get difficult for me.”*
TEREUS
By heaven, you poor man, you do
love trouble.
What about you?
PISTHETAIROS
I’d like the same.
TEREUS
Like what?
PISTHETAIROS
To have the father of some
handsome lad
come up to me, as if I’d done him
wrong,
and tell me off with some complaint
like this—
“A fine thing there between you and my
son,
[140]
you old spark. You met him coming back
from the gymnasium, after his bath— 170
you didn’t kiss or greet him with a
hug,
or even try tickling his testicles—
yet you’re a friend of mine, his
father.”
TEREUS
How you yearn for problems, you
unhappy man.
There is a happy city by the sea,
the Red Sea, just like the one you
mention.*
EUELPIDES
No, no. Not by the sea! That’s
not for us,
not where that ship Salamia can show
up
with some man on board to serve a
summons
early in the morning. What about
Greece? 180
Can you tell us of some city there?*
TEREUS
Why not go and settle down in Elis—
in Lepreus?
EUELPIDES
In Leprous? By the gods,
I hate the place—although I’ve never seen it—
[150]
it’s all Melanthius’ fault.*
TEREUS
You could go
to the Opuntians—they’re in Locris—
you might settle there.
EUELPIDES
Be Opuntius—
no way, not for a talent’s weight in
gold.*
But what’s it like here, living with
the birds?
You must know it well.
TEREUS
It’s not
unpleasant. 190
First of all, you have to live without
a purse.
EUELPIDES
So you’re rid of one great
source of fraud in life.
TEREUS
In
the gardens we enjoy white
sesame,
[160]
the myrtles, mint, and poppies.
EUELPIDES
So you live
just like newly-weds.
PISTHETAIROS
That’s it! I’ve got it!
I see a great plan for this race of
birds—
and power, too, if you’ll trust what I
say.
TEREUS
What do you want to get us all
to do?
PISTHETAIROS
What should you be convinced to
do? Well, first,
don’t just fly about in all
directions, 200
your beaks wide open—that makes you despised.
With us, you see, if you spoke of men
who always flit about and if you
asked,
“Who’s that Teleas” someone would
respond,
“The man’s a bird—he’s unreliable,
flighty, vague, never stays in one
place long.”*
[170]
TEREUS
By Dionysus, that’s a valid
point—
the criticism’s fair. What should we
do?
PISTHETAIROS
Settle down together in one city.
TEREUS
What sort of city could we birds
set
up?
210
PISTHETAIROS
Why ask that? What a stupid
thing to say!
Look down.
TEREUS
All right.
PISTHETAIROS
Now look up.
TEREUS
I’m looking up.
PISTHETAIROS
Turn your head round to the side.
TEREUS
By Zeus,
this’ll do me good, if I twist off my
neck.
PISTHETAIROS
What do you see?
TEREUS
Clouds and sky.
PISTHETAIROS
Well, then,
isn’t this a staging area for birds?
TEREUS
A staging area? How come it’s
that?
PISTHETAIROS
You might say it’s a location
for them—
[180]
there’s lots of business here, but
everything
keeps moving through this zone, so
it’s now called 220
a staging place. But if you settled
here,
fortified it, and fenced it off with
walls,
this staging area could become your
state.
Then you’d rule all men as if they’re
locusts
and annihilate the gods with famine,
just like in Melos.*
TEREUS
How’d we manage that?
PISTHETAIROS
Look, between earth and heaven
there’s the air.
Now, with us, when we want to go to
Delphi,
we have to ask permission to pass
through
from the Boeotians. You should do the
same.
230
When men sacrifice, make gods pay you
cash.
[190]
If not, you don’t grant them rights of
passage.
You’ll stop the smell of roasting
thigh bones
moving through an empty space and city
which don’t belong to them.
TEREUS
Wow!!! Yippee!!
By earth, snares, traps, nets, what a
marvellous scheme!
I’ve never heard a neater plan! So
now,
with your help, I’m going to found a
city,
if other birds agree.
PISTHETAIROS
The other birds?
Who’s going to lay this business out
to
them? 240
TEREUS
You can do it. I’ve taught them
how to speak.
[200]
Before I came, they could only
twitter,
but I’ve been with them here a long,
long time.
PISTHETAIROS
How do you call to bring them
all together?
TEREUS
Easy. I’ll step inside my
thicket here,
and wake my nightingale. Then we’ll both
call.
Once they hear our voices they’ll come
running.
PISTHETAIROS
O, you darling bird, now don’t
just stand there—
not when I’m begging you to go right
now,
get in your thicket, wake your
nightingale. 250
[Tereus goes back
through the doors]*
TEREUS [singing]
Come my queen, don’t
sleep so long,
pour forth the
sound of sacred song—
[210]
lament once more through
lips divine
for Itys, your dead child
and mine,
the one we’ve cried for
all this time.*
Sing out your music’s
liquid trill
in that vibrato voice—the thrill
which echoes in those
purest tones
through leafy haunts of
yew trees roams
and
rises up to Zeus’
throne. 260
Apollo with the golden
hair
sits listening to your
music there—
and in response he plucks
his string—
his lyre of ivory then
brings
the gods themselves to
dance and sing.
Then from gods’ mouths in
harmony
[220]
come sounds of sacred melody.
[A flute starts
playing within, in imitation of the nightingale’s song. The melody continues
for a few moments]
EUELPIDES
By lord Zeus, that little
birdie’s got a voice!
She pours her honey all through that
thicket!
PISTHETAIROS
Hey!
EUELPIDES
What?
PISTHETAIROS
Shut up.
EUELPIDES
Why?
PISTHETAIROS
That hoopoe bird— 270
he’s all set to sing another song.
TEREUS [issuing a
bird call to all the birds. His song or chant is accompanied by the flute
indicating the nightingale’s song]
Epo-popo-popo-popo-popoi,
Io, io, ito, ito, ito, ito.
Come here to me,
all you with feathers just like
mine,
[230]
all you who live in country fields
fresh-ploughed, still full of seed,
and all you thousand tribes
who munch on barley corn
who gather up the
grain,
280
and fly at such a speed
and utter your sweet cries,
all you who in the furrows there
twitter on the turned-up earth,
and sweetly sing
tio tio tio tio tio tio tio tio—
All those of you
who like to scavenge food
from
garden ivy
shoots,
[240]
all
you in the hills up
there
290
who eat from olive and arbutus trees.
come here as quickly as you can,
fly here in answer to this call—
trio-to trio-to toto-brix!
And every one of you
in low-lying marshy ground
who snap sharp-biting gnats,
by regions of well-watered land,
and lovely fields of Marathon,
all
you variously coloured
birds, 300
godwits and francolins—
I’m calling you.
You
flocks who fly across the
seas
[250]
across the waves with halcyons
come here to learn the news.
We’re all assembling here,
all tribes of long-neck birds.
A shrewd old man’s arrived—
he’s here with a new plan,
a
man of
enterprise,
310
all set to improvise.
So gather all of you
to hear his words.
[The final words
gradually change from coherent speech into a bird call]
Come here, come here,
come here, come here.
Toro-toro toro-toro-tix
Kik-kabau,
kik-kabau.
[260]
Toro-toro toro-toro li-li-lix
[Euelpides and
Pisthetairos start looking up into the sky for birds]
PISTHETAIROS
Seen any birds lately?
EUELPIDES
No, by Apollo, I haven’t—
even though I’m staring up into the
sky,
320
not even blinking.
PISTHETAIROS
It seems to me
that hoopoe bird was just wasting time
hiding, like a curlew, in that
thicket,
and screaming out his bird calls—
[imitating Tereus] po-poi po-poi
[There is
an instant response to Pisthetairos’ call from off stage, a loud bird call
which really scares Pisthetairos and Euelpides]
BIRD
[offstage]
Toro-tix, toro-tix.
PISTHETAIROS
Hey, my good man, here comes a
bird.
[Enter
a flamingo, very tall and flaming red-something Pisthetairos and Euelpides have
never seen]
EUELPIDES
By Zeus,
that’s a bird? What kind
would you call that?
It couldn’t be a peacock,
could it?
[Tereus
re-enters from the thicket]
PISTHETAIROS
Tereus here will tell us. Hey,
my friend,
330
what’s that bird there?
TEREUS
Not your
everyday fowl—
the kind you always see.
She’s a marsh bird.
[270]
EUELPIDES
My goodness, she’s gorgeous—flaming
red!
TEREUS
Naturally, that’s why she’s
called Flamingo.
[A
second bird enters, a Peacock]
EUELPIDES
[to Pisthetairos]
Hey . . .
PISTHETAIROS
What is it?
EUELPIDES
Another
bird’s arrived.
PISTHETAIROS
You’re right. By god, this one
looks really odd.
[To Tereus] Who’s this bizarre
bird-prophet of the Muse,
this strutter from the
hills?
TEREUS
He’s called
the Mede.
PISTHETAIROS
He’s a Mede? By lord Hercules,
how come
a
Mede flew here without his
camel? 340
EUELPIDES
Here’s another one . . .
[The
next bird enters, another Hoopoe]
. . . what a
crest of feathers!
PISTHETAIROS [To Tereus]
What’s this marvel? You’re
not the only
hoopoe?
[280]
This here’s another one?
TEREUS
He’s my
grandson—
son of Philocles the
Hoopoe—it’s like
those names you pass
along, when you call
Hipponicus the son of
Callias,
and Callias son of
Hipponicus.*
PISTHETAIROS
So this bird is Callias. His
feathers—
he seems to have lost
quite a few.
TEREUS
Yes, that’s
true—
being a well-off bird he’s
plucked by
parasites, 350
and female creatures flock
around him, too,
to yank his plumage out.
[Enter
the Glutton-bird, an invented species, very fat and brightly coloured]
PISTHETAIROS
By Poseidon,
here’s another bright
young bird. What’s it called?
TEREUS
This one’s the Glutton-bird.
PISTHETAIROS
Another
glutton?
Cleonymus is not the only
one?*
EUELPIDES
If
this bird were like our
Cleonymus,
[290]
wouldn’t he have thrown
away his crest?
PISTHETAIROS
Why do all the birds display
such head crests?
Are they going to run a
race in armour?
TEREUS
No, my dear fellow, they live up
on the crests, 360
because it’s safer, like
the Carians.*
PISTHETAIROS
[looking offstage]
Holy Poseidon, do you see those
birds!
What a fowl bunch of them—all
flocking here!
EUELPIDES
[looking in the same direction]
Lord Apollo, there’s a
huge bird cloud! Wow!
So many feathered wings in
there I can’t see
a way through all those
feathers to the wings.
[Enter
the Chorus of Birds in a dense mass. Pisthetairos and Euelpides clamber up the
rock to get a better look at them]
PISTHETAIROS
Hey, look at
that—
it’s a partridge, and that
one over there,
by Zeus, a francolin—there’s
a widgeon—
and that’s a halcyon!
EUELPIDES
What’s the
one behind her?
PISTHETAIROS
What is it? It’s a spotted
shaver.
EUELPIDES
Shaver? 370
You mean there’s a bird that
cuts our hair?
PISTHETAIROS
Why not?
After all, there’s that
barber in the city—
the one we all call
Sparrow Sporgilos.*
[300]
Here comes an owl.
EUELPIDES
Well, what
about that?
Who brings owls to Athens?*
PISTHETAIROS
[identifying birds in the crowd]
. . . a
turtle dove,
a jay, lark, sedge bird .
. .
EUELPIDES
. . . finch,
pigeon . . .
PISTHETAIROS
. . . falcon,
hawk, ring dove . . .
EUELPIDES
. . . cuckoo,
red shank . . .
PISTHETAIROS
. . .
fire-crest . . .
EUELPIDES
. . . porphyrion, kestrel,
dabchick, bunting,
vulture, and that one’s
there’s a . . . [he’s stumped]
PISTHETAIROS
. . .
woodpecker!!
EUELPIDES
What a crowd of birds! A major
flock of fowls! 380
All that twitter as they
prance around,
those rival cries! . . .
Oh, oh, what’s going on?
Are they a threat? They’re
looking straight at us—
their beaks are open!
PISTHETAIROS
It looks that
way to me.
CHORUS
LEADER [starting with a bird call]
To-toto-to
to-toto-to
to-to.
[310]
Who’s been calling me?
Where’s he keep his nest?
TEREUS
I’m the one. I’ve been waiting
here a while.
I’ve not left my bird
friends in the lurch.
CHORUS
LEADER
Ti-tit-ti
ti-tit-ti
ti-ti-ti-ti
390
tell me as a friend what
you have to say.
TEREUS
I have news for all of us—something
safe,
judicious, sweet, and
profitable.
Two men have just come
here to visit me,
two subtle thinkers . . .
CHORUS
LEADER [interrupting]
What? What are you saying?
TEREUS
I’m telling you two old men have
arrived—
[320]
they’ve come from lands
where human beings live
and bring the stalk of a
stupendous plan.
CHORUS
LEADER
You fool! This is the most
disastrous thing
since I was hatched. What
are you telling
us? 400
TEREUS
Don’t be afraid of what I have
to say.
CHORUS
LEADER
What have you done to us?
TEREUS
I’ve welcomed
here
two men in love with our
society.
CHORUS
LEADER
You dared to do that?
TEREUS
Yes, indeed,
I did.
And I’m very pleased I did
so.
CHORUS
LEADER
These two men
of yours,
are they among us now?
TEREUS
Yes, as
surely as I am.
CHORUS
[breaking into a song of indignation]
Aiiii, aiiiii
He’s cheated
us,
he’s
done us wrong.
That
friend of ours,
410
who all along
has fed with
us
in
fields we
share,
[330]
now breaks
old laws
and doesn’t
care.
We swore a
pact
of all the
birds.
He’s now
trapped us
with
deceitful words—
so
power
goes
420
to all our
foes,
that wicked
race
which since
its birth
was raised
for war
with us on
earth.
CHORUS
LEADER
We’ll have some words with that
one later.
These two old men should
get their punishment—
I think we should give it
now. Let’s do it—
rip ’em to pieces, bit by
bit.
PISTHETAIROS
We’re done
for.
EUELPIDES
It’s all your fault—getting
us into this mess.
430
Why’d you bring me here?
PISTHETAIROS
I wanted you
to
come.
[340]
EUELPIDES
What? So I could weep myself to death?
PISTHETAIROS
Now, you’re really talking
nonsense—
how do you intend to weep,
once these birds
poke out your eyes?
CHORUS
[advancing towards Pisthetairos and Euelpides
On, on . . .
let’s move in to attack,
and launch a bloody rush,
come in from front and
back,
and break ’em in the crush—
with
wings on every side
440
they’ll have no place to
hide.
These two will start to
howl,
when my beak starts to eat
and makes ’em food for
fowl.
There’s no well-shaded
peak,
no
cloud or salt-grey
sea
[350]
where they can flee from
me.
CHORUS
LEADER
Now let’s bite and tear these
two apart!
Where’s the brigadier?
Bring up the right wing!
[The
birds start to close in on Pisthetairos and Euelpides, cowering up on the rocks]
EUELPIDES
This is it! I’m done for. Where
can I
run? 450
PISTHETAIROS
Why aren’t you staying put?
EUELPIDES
Here with
you?
I don’t want ’em to rip me
into pieces.
PISTHETAIROS
How do you intend to get away
from them?
EUELPIDES
I haven’t a clue.
PISTHETAIROS
Then I’ll
tell you how—
we have to stay right here
and fight it out.
So put that cauldron down.
[Pisthetairos
takes the cauldron from Euelpides and sets it down on the ground in front of
them]
EUELPIDES
What good’s a
cauldron?
PISTHETAIROS
It’ll keep the owls away from us.
EUELPIDES
What about the birds with claws?
PISTHETAIROS
[rummaging in the pack]
Grab this
spit—
stick it in the ground in
front of you.
EUELPIDES
How
do we protect our
eyes?
[360]
PISTHETAIROS
[producing a couple of tin bowls]
An
upturned
bowl.
460
Set this on your head.
EUELPIDES:
[putting the tin bowl upside down on his head and holding up the pot, with
the spit stuck in the ground]
That’s
brilliant!
What a grand stroke of
warlike strategy!
In military matters you’re
the best—
already smarter than that
Nikias*
[Pisthetairos
and Euelpides, with tin bowls on their heads, await the birds’ charge-with
Pisthetairos hiding behind Euelpides who is holding up the big pot. Their two
slaves cower behind them]
CHORUS
LEADER
El-el-el-eu .
. . Charge!
Keep those beaks level—no
holding back now!
Pull ‘em, scratch ’em, hit
’em, rip their skins off!
Go smash that big pot
first of all.
[As
the Chorus is about to start its charge, Tereus rushes in between the two men
and the Chorus and tries to stop the Chorus Leader]
TEREUS
Hold on, you wickedest of
animals!
Tell me this: Why do you
want to kill these men, 470
to tear them both to bits?
They’ve done no wrong.
Besides, they’re my wife’s
relatives, her clansmen.
CHORUS
LEADER
Why should we be more merciful
to them
than we are to wolves?
What other animals
are greater enemies of
ours than them?
Have
we got better targets
for
revenge?
[370]
TEREUS
Yes, by nature enemies—but
what if
they’ve got good
intentions? What if they’ve come
to teach you something
really valuable?
CHORUS
LEADER
How
could they ever teach us
anything,
480
or tell us something
useful—they’re enemies,
our feathered forefathers’
fierce foes.
TEREUS
But folks with fine minds find
from foemen
they can learn a lot.
Caution saves us all.
We don’t learn that from
friends. But enemies
can force that truth upon
us right away.
That’s why cities learn,
not from their allies,
but from enemies, how to
build high walls,
assemble fleets of
warships—in that way,
their knowledge saves
their children, homes, and goods. 490 [380]
CHORUS LEADER
Well, here’s what seems best to
me—first of all,
let’s hear what they have
come to say. It’s true—
our enemies can teach us
something wise.
PISTHETAIROS
[to Euelpides}
I think their anger’s
easing off. Let’s retreat.
[Pisthetairos
and Euelpides inch their way toward the doors, still bunched together, with
Euelpides holding up the pot]
TEREUS
[to the Chorus Leader]
It’s only fair—and
you do owe me a favour,
out of gratitude.
CHORUS
LEADER
In other
things,
before today, we’ve never
stood against you.
PISTHETAIROS
They’re acting now more
peacefully to us—
so put that pot and bowl
down on the ground.
But we’d better hang onto
the spit, our spear. 500
We’ll use it on patrol
inside our camp
[390]
right by this cauldron
here. Keep your eyes peeled—
don’t even think of flight.
[Euelpides
puts down the cauldron, removes his tin-plate helmet, and marches with the
spear back and forth by the cauldron, on guard]
EUELPIDES
What happens if we’re killed?
Where on earth
will we be buried?
PISTHETAIROS
In Kerameikos—
where the potters live—they’ll
bury both of us.
We’ll get it done and have
the public pay—
I’ll tell the generals we
died in battle,
fighting with the troops
at Orneai.*
CHORUS
LEADER
Fall
back into the ranks you
held
before.
510
[400]
Bend over, and like
well-armed soldier boys,
put your spirit and your
anger down.
We’ll look into who these
two men may be,
where they come from, what
their intentions are.
[The
Chorus of Birds breaks up and retreats]
Hey, Hoopoe bird, I’m
calling you!
TEREUS
You called?
What would you like to
hear?
CHORUS
LEADER
These two men—
where do they come from
and who are they?
TEREUS
These strangers are from Greece,
font of wisdom.
CHORUS
LEADER
What
accident or
words
[410]
now
brings them to the
birds? 520
TEREUS
The two men love your life,
adore the way you live—
they want to share with
you
in all there is to give.
CHORUS
LEADER
What’s that you just said?
What plan is in their head?
TEREUS
Things you’d never think about—
you’ll be amazed—just
hear him out.
CHORUS
LEADER
He thinks it’s good that he
should stay and live with
me? 530
Is he trusting in some
plan
to help his fellow man
or
thump his
enemy?
[420]
TEREUS
He talks of happiness
too great for thought or
words
He claims this emptiness—
all space—is
for the birds—
here, there, and everywhere.
You’ll be convinced, I swear.
CHORUS
LEADER
Is
he crazy in the
head?
540
TEREUS
He is shrewder than I said.
CHORUS
LEADER
A brilliant thinking box?
TEREUS
The subtlest, sharpest fox—
he’s been around a lot
knows every scheme and
plot.
[430]
CHORUS
LEADER
Ask him to speak to us, to tell
us all.
As I listen now to what you’re
telling me,
it makes me feel like flying—taking
off!
TEREUS
[to the two slaves]
Take their suits of armour in
the house—
hang the stuff up in the
kitchen there, 550
beside the cooking stool—may it bring good luck!
[turning
to Pisthetairos]
Now you. Lay out your plans—explain to them
the reason why I called them
all together.
[Pisthetairos
is struggling with the servants, refusing to give up his armour]
PISTHETAIROS
No. By Apollo, I won’t do it—
not unless they swear a pact
with me
just like one that
monkey
Panaitios,
[440]
who makes our knives, had his wife swear to him—
not to bite or pull my balls
or poke me.
CHORUS
LEADER
You mean up your . . .
PISTHETAIROS
No,
not there. I mean the eyes.
CHORUS
LEADER
Oh, I’ll agree to that.
PISTHETAIROS
Then
swear an oath on
it.
560
CHORUS
LEADER
I swear on this condition—that
I get
all the judges’ and
spectators’ votes and win.*
PISTHETAIROS
Oh, you’ll win!
CHORUS
LEADER
And if I break the oath
then let me win by just a
single vote.
Listen all of you! The armed
infantry
can now pick up their weapons
and go home.
Keep an eye out for any
bulletins
we put up on our notice
boards.
[450]
CHORUS [singing]
Man’s by nature’s born to lie.
But state your case.
Give it a
try.
570
There’s a chance you have observed
some useful things inside this
bird,
some greater power I possess,
which my dull brain has never
guessed.
So tell all here just what you
see.
If there’s a benefit to me,
we’ll share in it communally.
CHORUS
LEADER
Tell
us the business that’s
brings you
here.
[460]
Persuade us of your views. So speak right up.
No need to be afraid—we’ve
made a pact—
580
we won’t be the ones who break it first.
PISTHETAIROS
[aside to Euelpides]
By god, I’m full of words,
bursting to speak.
I’ve worked my speech like
well-mixed flour—
like kneading dough. There’s
nothing stopping me.
[giving
instructions to the two slaves]
You, lad, fetch me a speaker’s wreath—and, you,
bring water here, so I can
wash my hands.
[The
two slaves go into the house and return with a wreath and some water]
EUELPIDES
[whispering to Pisthetairos]
You mean it’s time for dinner?
What’s going on?
PISTHETAIROS
For a long time now I’ve been
keen, by god,
to give them a stupendous
speech—overstuffed—
something to shake their tiny
birdy
souls. 590
[Pisthetairos,
with the wreath on his head, now turns to the birds and begins his formal
oration]
I’m so sorry for you all, who once were kings . . .
CHORUS
LEADER
Kings? Us? What of?
PISTHETAIROS
You
were kings indeed,
you ruled over everything
there is—
over him and me, first of all,
and then
over Zeus himself. You see,
your ancestry
goes back before old Kronos
and the Titans,
way back before even Earth
herself!*
CHORUS
LEADER
Before the Earth?
PISTHETAIROS
Yes,
by Apollo.
CHORUS
LEADER
Well,
that’s something I never
knew
before!
[470]
PISTHETAIROS
That’s because you’re naturally
uninformed—
600
you lack resourcefulness. You’ve not read Aesop.
His story tells us that the
lark was born
before the other birds, before
the Earth.
Her father then grew sick and
died. For five days
he lay there unburied—there
was no Earth.
Not knowing what to do, at
last the lark,
at her wits’ end, set him in
her own head.
EUELPIDES
So now, the father of the lark
lies dead
in a headland plot.
PISTHETAIROS
So if they were born
before the Earth, before the
gods, well then,
610
as the eldest, don’t they get the right to rule?
EUELPIDES
By Apollo, yes they do.
[addressing
the audience]
So
you out there,
look ahead and sprout
yourselves a beak—
in good time Zeus will hand
his sceptre
back
[480]
to the birds who peck his sacred oaks.
PISTHETAIROS
Way back then it wasn’t gods who
ruled.
They didn’t govern men. No. It
was the birds.
There’s lots of proof for
this. I’ll mention here
example number one—the
fighting cock—
first lord and king of
all
those
Persians, 620
well before the time of human kings—
those Dariuses and
Megabazuses.
Because he was their king, the
cock’s still called
the Persian Bird.
EUELPIDES
That’s
why to this very day
the cock’s the only bird to
strut about
like some great Persian king,
and on his head
he wears his crown erect.
PISTHETAIROS
He
was so great,
so mighty and so strong, that
even now,
thanks to his power then, when
he sings out
his early morning song, all
men leap up
630
to head for work—blacksmiths, potters, tanners,
[490]
men who deal in corn or
supervise the baths,
or make our shields or
fabricate our lyres—
they all lace on their shoes
and set off in the dark.
EUELPIDES
I can vouch for that! I had some
bad luck,
thanks to that cock—I
lost my cloak to thieves,
a soft and warm one, too, of
Phrygian wool.
I’d been invited to a festive
do,
where some child was going to
get his name,
right here in the city. I’d
had some drinks—
640
and those drinks, well, they made me fall asleep.
Before the other guests began
to eat,
that bird lets rip his
cock-a-doodle-doo!
I thought it was the early
morning call.
So I run off for Halimus*—but then,
just outside the city walls, I
get mugged,
some coat thief hits me square
across the back—
he used a cudgel! When I fall
down there,
about to cry for help, he steals
my cloak!
PISTHETAIROS
To resume—way back
then the Kite was
king.
650
He ruled the Greeks.
CHORUS
LEADER
King of the Greeks!!
PISTHETAIROS
That’s
right.
As king he was the
first to
show us
how
[500]
to grovel on the ground before a kite.
EUELPIDES
By Dionysus, I once saw a kite
and rolled along the ground,
then, on my back,
my mouth wide open, gulped an
obol down.
I had to trudge home with an
empty sack.*
Take Egypt and Phoenicia—they
were ruled
by Cuckoo kings. And when they
cried “Cuckoooo!!”
all those Phoenicians
harvested their crop— 660
the wheat and barley in their fields.
EUELPIDES
That’s
why
if someone’s cock is ploughing
your wife’s field,
we call you “Cuckoo!”—you’re
being fooled!*
PISTHETAIROS
The kingship of the birds was
then so strong
that in the cities of the
Greeks a king—
an Agamemnon, say, or Menelaus—
had a bird perched on his
regal sceptre.
And it got its own share of
all the
gifts
[510]
the king received.
EUELPIDES
Now,
that I didn’t know.
I always get amazed in
tragedies 670
when some king Priam comes on with a bird.
I guess it stands on guard
there, keeping watch
to see what presents
Lysicrates gets.*
PISTHETAIROS
Here’s the weirdest proof of all—lord
Zeus
who now commands the sky,
because he’s king,
carries an eagle on his head.
There’s more—
his daughter has an owl, and
Apollo,
like a servant, has a hawk.
EUELPIDES
That’s
right,
by Demeter! What’s the reason
for those birds?
PISTHETAIROS
So
when someone makes a
sacrifice
680
and then, in accordance with tradition,
puts the guts into god’s
hands, the birds
can seize those entrails well
before Zeus can.
Back then no man would swear
upon the gods—
they swore their oaths on
birds. And even
now, [520]
our Lampon seals his promises “By Goose,”
when he intends to cheat.* In days gone by,
all men considered you like
that—as great
and sacred beings. Now they
all think of you
as slaves and fools and
useless
layabouts. 690
They throw stones at you, as if you’re mad.
And every hunter in the
temples there
sets up his traps—all
those nooses, gins,
limed sticks and snares, fine
mesh and hunting nets,
and cages, too. Then once
they’ve got you trapped,
they sell you by the bunch.
Those who come to buy
poke and prod your flesh. If
you seem good to
eat, [530]
they don’t simply roast you by yourself—no!
They grate on cheese, mix oil
and silphium
with vinegar—and
then whip up a sauce,
700
oily and sweet, which they pour on you hot,
as if you were a chunk of
carrion meat.
CHORUS
This human speaks
of
our great pain
our fathers’
sins [540]
we
mourn again—
born into rule,
they
threw away
what they received,
their
fathers’
sway. 710
But now you’ve come—
fine
stroke of fate—
to save our cause.
Here
let me state
I’ll trust myself
and
all my chicks
to help promote
your
politics.
CHORUS
LEADER
You need to stick around to tell
us all
what we should do. Our lives
won’t be worth living 720
unless by using every scheme there is
we get back what’s ours—our
sovereignty.
PISTHETAIROS
Then
the first point I’d advise
you of is
this:
[550]
there should be one single city of the birds.
Next, you should encircle the
entire air,
all this space between the
earth and heaven,
with a huge wall of baked
brick—like Babylon.
EUELPIDES
O Kebriones and Porphyrion!
What a mighty
place! How well fortified!*
PISTHETAIROS
When you’ve completed that,
demand from Zeus 730
he give you back your rule. If he says no,
he doesn’t want to and won’t
sign on at once,
you then declare a holy war on
him.
Tell those gods they can’t
come through your space
with cocks erect, the way they
used to do,
rushing down to screw another
woman—
like Alkmene, Semele, or
Alope.*
For if you ever catch them
coming down
you’ll stamp your seal right
on their swollen pricks—
[560]
they
won’t be fucking women any
more. 740
And I’d advise you send another bird
as herald down to human beings
to say
that since the birds from now
on will be kings,
they have to offer sacrifice
to them.
The offerings to the gods take
second place.
Then each of the gods must be
closely matched
with an appropriate bird. So
if a man
is offering Athena holy
sacrifice,
he must first give the Coot
some barley corn.
If sacrificing sheep to
god
Poseidon, 750
let him bring toasted wheat grains to the Duck.
And anyone who’s going to
sacrifice
to Hercules must give the
Cormorant
some honey cakes. A ram for Zeus
the king?
Then first, because the Wren
is king of birds,
ahead of Zeus himself, his
sacrifice
requires the worshipper to
execute
an uncastrated gnat.
EUELPIDES
I like that bit about
the slaughtered gnat. Now
thunder on, great Zan.* [570]
CHORUS
LEADER
But
how will humans think of us
as
gods
760
and not just jackdaws flying around on wings?
PISTHETAIROS
A foolish question. Hermes is a
god,
and he has wings and flies—so do
others,
all sorts of them. There’s
Victory, for one,
with wings of gold. And Eros
is the same.
Then there’s Iris—just
like a timorous dove,
that’s what Homer says.
EUELPIDES
But
what if Zeus
lets his thunder peal, then
fires down on us
his lightning bolt—that’s
got wings as well.
PISTHETAIROS
[ignoring Euelpides]
Now, if men in their
stupidity
770
think nothing of you and keep worshipping
Olympian gods, then a large
cloud of birds,
of rooks and sparrows, must
attack their farms,
devouring all the seed. And as
they starve,
let Demeter then dole
out
grain to
them.
[580]
EUELPIDES
She won’t be willing to do that,
by Zeus.
She’ll make excuses—as
you’ll see.
PISTHETAIROS
Then
as a test,
the ravens can peck out their
livestock’s eyes,
the ones that pull the ploughs
to work the land,
and other creatures,
too. Let
Apollo 780
make them better—he’s the god of healing.
That’s why he gets paid.
EUELPIDES
But
you can’t do this
’til I’ve sold my two little
oxen first.
PISTHETAIROS
But if they think of you as god,
as life,
as Earth, as Kronos and
Poseidon, too,
then all good things will come
to them.
CHORUS
LEADER
Tell
me
what these good things are.
PISTHETAIROS
Well,
for starters,
locusts won’t eat the blossoms
on their vines.
The owls and kestrels in just
one platoon
will rid them of those pests.
Mites and gall wasps 790 [590]
won’t devour the figs. One troop of thrushes
will eradicate them one and
all.
CHORUS
LEADER
But how will we make people
wealthy?
That’s what they mostly want.
PISTHETAIROS
When
people come
petitioning your shrines, the
birds can show
the mining sites that pay.
They’ll tell the priest
the profitable routes for
trade. That way
no captain of a ship will be
wiped out.
CHORUS
LEADER
Why won’t those captains come to
grief?
PISTHETAIROS
They’ll
always ask the birds
about the
trip.
800
Their seer will say, “A storm is on the way.
Don’t sail just yet” or “Now’s
the time to sail—
you’ll turn a tidy profit.”
EUELPIDES
Hey,
that’s for me—
I’ll buy a merchant ship and
take command.
I won’t be staying with you.
PISTHETAIROS
Birds
can show men
the silver treasures of their
ancestors,
buried in the ground so long
ago.
For birds know where these
are. Men always say,
[600]
“No one knows where my treasure lies, no one,
except perhaps some bird.”
EUELPIDES
I’ll
sell my boat.
810
I’ll buy a spade and dig up tons of gold.
CHORUS
LEADER
How will we provide for human
health?
Such things dwell with the
gods.
PISTHETAIROS
If
they’re doing well,
is that not giving them good
health?
EUELPIDES
You’re
right.
A man whose business isn’t
very sound
is never medically well.
CHORUS
LEADER
All
right,
but how will they get old?
That’s something, too,
Olympian gods bestow. Must
they die young?
PISTHETAIROS
No, no, by god. The birds will
add on years,
three hundred more.
CHORUS
LEADER
And
where will those come
from? 820
PISTHETAIROS
From the birds’ supply. You know
the saying,
“Five human lifetimes lives
the cawing crow.”*
EUELPIDES
My word, these birds are much
more qualified
[610]
to govern us than Zeus.
PISTHETAIROS
Far
better qualified!
First, we don’t have to build
them holy shrines,
made out of stone, or put up
golden doors
to decorate their sanctuaries.
They live
beneath the bushes and young
growing trees.
As for the prouder birds, an
olive grove
will be their temple. When we
sacrifice,
830
no need to go to Ammon or to Delphi—
we’ll just stand among
arbutus
trees
[620]
or oleasters with an offering—
barley grains or wheat—uttering
our prayers,
our arms outstretched, so from
them we receive
our share of benefits. And
these we’ll gain
by throwing them a few
handfuls of grain.
CHORUS
LEADER
Old man, how much you’ve been
transformed for me—
From my worst enemy into my
friend,
my dearest friend. These
strategies of yours— 840
I’ll not abandon them, not willingly.
CHORUS
The words you’ve said make us
rejoice—
and so we’ll swear with just
one voice
an oath that if you stand with
me—
[630]
our thoughts and aims in unity—
honest, pious, just, sincere,
to go against the gods up
there,
if we’re both singing the same
song
the gods won’t have my sceptre
long.
CHORUS
LEADER
Whatever
can be done with force
alone
850
we’re ready to take on—what requires brains
or thinking through, all that
stuff’s up to you.
PISTHETAIROS
That’s right, by Zeus. No time
for dozing
now,
[640]
or entertaining doubts, like Nikias.*
No—let’s get up and at it
fast.
TEREUS
But first, you must come in this
nest of mine,
these sticks and twigs
assembled here. So now,
both of you, tell us your
names.
PISTHETAIROS
That’s easy.
My name’s Pisthetairos.
TEREUS
And
this man here?
EUELPIDES
I’m
Euelpides, from
Crioa. 860
TEREUS
Welcome both of you!
PISTHETAIROS
and EUELPIDES
Thanks very much.
TEREUS
Won’t you come in?
PISTHETAIROS
Let’s go. But you go first—
show us the way.
TEREUS
Come on, then.
[Tereus
enters his house]
PISTHETAIROS
[holding back, calling into the house]
But . . . it’s strange . . .
Come back a minute.
[Tereus
reappears at the door]
Look,
tell us both
how me and him can share the
place with you
when you can fly but we’re not
able to.
[650]
TEREUS
I don’t see any problem there.
PISTHETAIROS
Maybe,
but in Aesop’s fables there’s
a story told
about some fox who hung around
an eagle,
with unfortunate results.
TEREUS
Don’t
be
afraid.
870
We have a little root you nibble on—
and then you’ll grow some
wings.
PISTHETAIROS
All
right then,
let’s go. [To the slaves]
Manodorus, Xanthias,
bring in our mattresses.
CHORUS
LEADER [to Tereus]
Hold on a second—
I’m calling you.
TEREUS
Why
are you calling me?
CHORUS
LEADER
Take those two men in—give
‘em a good meal.
But bring your tuneful
nightingale out here,
who with the Muses sings such
charming songs—
leave her with us so we can
play together.
[660]
PISTHETAIROS
Yes, by god—agree
to
their
request.
880
Bring out your little birdie in the reeds.
EUELPIDES
For gods’ sake, bring her out,
so we can see
this lovely nightingale of yours.
TEREUS
If that’s what you both want, it
must be done.
[calling inside]
Come here, Procne. Our guests
are calling you.
[Enter
Procne from the house. She has a nightingale’s head and wings but the body of a
young woman. She’s wearing gold jewellery]
PISTHETAIROS
Holy Zeus, that’s one gorgeous
little bird!
What a tender chick!
EUELPIDES
How I’d love
to help that birdie
spread her legs, if you
catch my drift.
PISTHETAIROS
Look at that—
all the gold she’s wearing—just
like a
girl.
[670]
EUELPIDES
What I’d like to do right now is
kiss
her. 890
PISTHETAIROS
You idiot—look
at that beak she’s got,
a pair of skewers.
EUELPIDES
All right, by
god,
we’ll treat her like an
egg—peel off the shell,
take it clean off her head,
and then we’ll kiss her.
TEREUS
Let’s get inside.
PISTHETAIROS
You lead us in—good luck to all!
[Pisthetairos,
Euelpides, Tereus, Xanthias, and Manodorus enter the house]
CHORUS
[singing to Procne]
Ah, my tawny throated love,
of all the birds that fly above
you’re dearest to my heart
your sweet melodious voice
in my song plays its part—
900
my lovely Nightingale,
you’ve
come,
[680]
you’ve
come.
And now you’re here with me.
Pour forth your melody.
Pipe out the lovely sounds of spring,
a prelude to my rhythmic speech
in every melody you sing.
[Procne
plays on the flute for a few moments as the Chorus Leader prepares to address
the audience directly. He steps forward getting close to the spectators]
CHORUS
LEADER
Come now, you men out there,
who live such dark, sad lives—
you’re frail, just like a race
of leaves—you’re shaped from
clay,
you tribes of insubstantial shadows without wings,
you creatures of a day,
unhappy mortal men,
you figures from a dream, now
turn your minds to us,
the eternal, deathless,
air-borne, ageless birds,
whose wisdom never dies, so
you may hear from us
the truth about celestial
things, about the birds—
[690]
how they sprang into being, how the gods arose,
how rivers, Chaos, and dark
Erebus were formed*—
about all this you’ll learn
the truth. And so from me
tell Prodicus in future to
depart.* At the start,
920
there was Chaos, and Night, and pitch-black Erebus,
and spacious Tartarus. There
was no earth, no heaven,
no atmosphere. Then in the
wide womb of Erebus,
that boundless space,
black-winged Night, first creature born,
made pregnant by the wind,
once laid an egg. It hatched,
when seasons came around, and
out of it sprang Love—
the source of all desire, on
his back the glitter
of his golden wings, just like
the swirling whirlwind.
In broad Tartarus, Love had
sex with murky Chaos.
From them our race was born—our
first glimpse of the light. 930
Before that there was no immortal race at all,
not before Love mixed all
things up. But once they’d bred
[700]
and blended in with one another, Heaven was born,
Ocean and Earth—and
all that clan of deathless gods.
Thus, we’re by far the oldest
of all blessed ones,
for we are born from Love.
There’s lots of proof for this.
We fly around the place,
assisting those in love—
the handsome lads who swear
they’ll never bend for sex,
but who, as their young charms
come to an end, agree
to let male lovers bugger
them, thanks to the birds, 940
our power as gifts—one man gives a porphyrion,
another man a quail, a
third one gives a goose,
and yet another offers up
a Persian Fowl.*
All mortals’ greatest
benefits come from us birds.
The first is this: we make
the season known—springtime,
winter, autumn—it’s
time to sow, as soon as Crane
migrates to Lybia with all
that noise. He
tells
[710]
the master mariner to hang
his rudder up
and go to sleep awhile. He
tells Orestes, too,
to weave himself a winter
cloak, so he won’t freeze 950
when he sets out again to
rip off people’s clothes.*
Then after that the Kite
appears, to let you know
another season’s here—it’s
time to shear the sheep.
Then Swallow comes. Now
you should sell your winter cloak
and get yourself a light
one. So we’re your Ammon,
Delphi and Dodona—we’re
your Apollo, too.*
See how, in all your
business, you first look to birds—
when you trade, buy goods,
or when a man gets married.
Whatever you think matters
in a prophecy,
you label that a bird—to
you,
Rumour’s a
bird; [720]
you say a sneeze or a
chance meeting is a bird,
a sound’s a bird, a
servant’s a bird—and so’s an ass.
It’s clear you look on us
as your Apollo.
CHORUS
So you ought to make gods of your birds,
your muses prophetic,
whose words
all year round you’ve got,
unless it’s too hot.
Your questions will always
be heard.
And we won’t
run away to a cloud
and sit there like Zeus,
who’s so proud— 970
we’re ready to give,
hang out where you live,
and be there for you in
the crowd.
CHORUS
LEADER
Yes, to you, your children, and
their children, too,
[730]
we’ll grant wealth and
health, good life, and happiness,
peace, youth, laughter,
dances, festivals of song—
and birds’ milk, too—so
much, you’ll find yourself worn out
with our fine gifts—yes,
that’s how rich you’ll be.
CHORUS
Oh woodland Muse
Tio-tio-tio-tiotinx 980
my muse of varied artful song
on
trees and from high mountain
peaks [740]
tio-tio-tio-tiotinx
to your notes I sing along
in my leafy ash tree seat.
tio-tio-tio-tiontinx
From my tawny throat I fling
my sacred melodies to Pan.
In holy dance I chant and sing
our mother from the mountain land. 990
Toto-toto-toto-toto-toto-totinx
Here Phrynichus would always
sip
[750]
ambrosial nectar from our tone
to make sweet music of his own.
tio-tio-tio-tiotinx.
CHORUS
LEADER
If there’s someone out there in
the audience
who’d like to spend his future
life among the birds
enjoying himself, he should
come to us. Here, you see,
whatever is considered
shameful by your laws,
is all just fine among us birds.
Consider this— 1000
if your tradition says one shouldn’t beat one’s dad,
up here with us it’s all right
if some young bird
goes at his father, hits him,
cries, “You wanna fight?
Then put up your spur!” If out
there among you
all [760]
there is, by chance, a tattooed slave who’s run away,
we’ll call him a spotted
francolin. Or else,
if someone happens to be
Phrygian, as pure
as Spintharos, he’ll be a Philemon-bred
finch.
If he’s like Execestides, a
Carian slave,
let him act the Cuckoo—steal
his kin from us— 1010
some group of citizens will claim him soon enough.
And if the son of Peisias
still has in mind
betraying our city gates to
worthless men,
let him become his father’s
little partridge cock—
for us there’s nothing wrong
with crafty partridge stock.
CHORUS
Tio-tio-tio-tio-tinx-
That’s
how the swans
[770]
massed
in a crowd
with
rustling wings
once
raised
aloud
1020
Apollo’s
hymn.
Tio-tio-tio-tio-tinx
They
sat in rows
on
river banks
where
Hebros flows.
Tio-tio-tio-tio-tinx
Their
song then rose
through
cloud and air—
it
cast its spell
on
mottled
tribes 1030
of
wild beasts there—
the
silent sky
calmed
down the sea.
Toto-toto-toto-toto-totinx.
Olympus
rang—
[780]
amazement
seized
its
lords and kings.
Then
Muses there
and
Graces, too,
voiced
their response— 1040
Olympus
sang.
Tio-tio-tio-tio-tiotinx.
CHORUS
LEADER
There’s nothing sweeter or
better than growing wings.
If any of you members of the
audience
had wings, well, if you were
feeling bored or hungry
with these tragic choruses,
you could fly away,
go home for dinner, and then,
once you’d had enough,
fly back to us again. Or if,
by any chance,
a Patrocleides sits out there
among you all,
[790]
dying to shit, he wouldn’t have to risk a
fart
1050
in his own pants—he could fly off and let ’er rip,
take a deep breath, and fly
back down again.
If it should be the case that
one of you out there
is having an affair, and you
observe her husband
sitting here, in seats
reserved for Council men,
well, once again, you could
fly off and fuck the wife,
then fly back from her place
and take your seat once more.
Don’t you see how having wings
to fly beats everything?
Just look at Diitrephes—the
only wings he had
were handles on his flasks of
wine, but nonetheless, 1060
they chose him to lead a squad of cavalry,
then for a full command, so
now, from being nobody,
he carries out our great
affairs—he’s now become
[800]
a tawny civic horse-cock.*
[Enter
Pisthetairos and Euelpides from Tereus’ house. They now have wings on and
feathers on their heads instead of hair}
PISTHETAIROS
Well,
that’s that. By Zeus,
I’ve never seen a more
ridiculous sight!
EUELPIDES
What are you laughing at?
PISTHETAIROS
At
your feathers.
Have you any idea what you
look like—
what you most resemble with
those feathers on?
A goose painted by some cheap
artiste!
EUELPIDES
And you look like a blackbird—one
whose hair 1070
has just been cut using a barber’s bowl.
PISTHETAIROS
People will use us as metaphors—
as Aeschlyus would say, “We’re
shot by feathers
not from someone else but of
our very own.”
CHORUS
LEADER
All right, then. What do we now
need to do?
PISTHETAIROS
First, we have to name our city,
something
fine and grand. Then after
that we sacrifice
[810]
an offering to the gods.
EUELPIDES
That’s
my view, too.
CHORUS
LEADER
So what name shall we give our
city?
PISTHETAIROS
Well,
do you want to use that
mighty
name
1080
from Lacedaimon—shall we call it Sparta?
EUELPIDES
By Hercules, would I use that
name Sparta
for my city? No. I wouldn’t
even try
esparto grass to make my bed,
not if
I could use cords of linen.*
PISTHETAIROS
All
right then, what name
shall we provide?
CHORUS
LEADER
Some name from around here—
to do with clouds, with high
places full of air,
something really extra grand.
PISTHETAIROS
Well,
then,
how do you like this:
Cloudcuckooland?
CHORUS
LEADER
Yes! That’s good! You’ve come up
with a name 1090 [820]
that’s really wonderful—it’s great!
EUELPIDES
Hang
on,
is this Cloudcuckooland the
very spot
where Theogenes keeps lots of
money,
and Aeschines hides all his
assets?*
PISTHETAIROS
It’s even more than that—it’s
Phlegra Plain,
the place where gods beat up
on all the giants
in a bragging match.*
This
fine metropolis!
O what a glittering thing this
city is!
Now who should be the city’s
guardian god?
Who gets to wear the sacred
robes we
weave? 1100
PISTHETAIROS
Why not let Athena do the
guarding?
EUELPIDES
But how can we have a finely
ordered state
where a female goddess stands
there fully
armed, [830]
while Cleisthenes still fondles weaving shuttles.*
PISTHETAIROS
Well, who will hold our city’s
strong Storkade?
CHORUS
LEADER
A bird among us of a Persian
breed—
it’s said to be the fiercest
anywhere
of all the war god’s chicks.
EUELPIDES
Some
princely cocks?
They’re just the gods to live
among the rocks!
PISTHETAIROS
[to Euelpides]
Come now, you must move
up
into the
air, 1110
and help the ones who’re building up the wall—
hoist rubble for ’em, strip
and mix the mortar,
haul up the hod, and
then fall
off the
ladder.
[840]
Put guards in place, and keep all fires concealed.
Make your inspection rounds
holding the bell.*
Go to sleep up there. Then
send out heralds—
one to gods above, one down to
men below.
And then come back from there
to me.
EUELPIDES
And
you?
You’ll stay here? Well, to
hell with you . . .
PISTHETAIROS
Hey,
my friend,
you should go where I send you—without
you 1120
none of that work I mentioned will get done.
We need a sacrifice to these
new gods.
I’ll call a priest to organize
the show.
[Euelpides
exits. Pisthetairos calls to the slaves through the doors of Tereus’ house]
You, boy, pick up the basket, and you,
my lad, grab up the
holy
water.
[850]
[Pisthetairos
enters the house. As the Chorus sings, the slaves emerge and prepare for the
sacrifice. The Chorus is accompanied by a raven playing the pipes]
CHORUS
I think it’s good and I
agree,
your notions here are fine with me,
a great big march with dancing throngs
and to the gods send holy songs,
and
then their benefits to
keep 1130
we’ll sacrifice a baby sheep—
let go our cry, the Pythian shout,
while Chaeris plays our chorus out.
[The
Raven plays erratically on the pipe. Pisthetairos comes out of the house. He
brings a priest with him who is leading a small scrawny goat for the sacrifice]
PISTHETAIROS
[to the Raven]
Stop blowing all that noise! By
Hercules,
what’s this? I’ve seen some
strange things, heaven knows, [860]
but never this—a raven with a pipe
shoved up his nose. Come on,
priest, work your spell,
and sacrifice to these new
gods as well.
PRIEST
I’ll do it. But where’s the
basket-bearing boy?
[The
slave appears with the basket]
Let us now pray to Hestia of the birds,*
1140
and to the Kite that watches o’er the hearth,
to all Olympian birds and
birdesses . . .
PISTHETAIROS
[to himself]
O Hawk of Sunium, all hail to
you,
Lord of the Sea . . .
PRIEST
And to the Pythian Swan of Delos—
let’s pray to Leto, mother of
the quail
[870]
to Artemis the Goldfinch . . .
PISTHETAIROS
Ha! No more goddess
of Colaenis now, but goldfinch
Artemis . . .
PRIEST
. . . to Sabazdios, Phrygian
frigate bird,
to the great ostrich mother of
the
gods 1150
and of all men . . .
PISTHETAIROS
. . . to Cybele, our ostrich queen,
mother of Cleocritos* . . .
PRIEST
.
. . may they give
to all Cloudcuckooites
security,
good health, as well—and
to the Chians, too.*
PISTHETAIROS
I do like that—the
way
those
Chians
[880]
always get tacked on
everywhere—
PRIEST
. . . to Hero birds, and to
their chicks,
to Porphyrions and
Pelicans,
both white and grey, to
Raptor-birds and Pheasants,
Peacocks and Warblers . . .
[The
Priest starts to get carried away]
. . . Ospreys and Teals
Herons and Gannets, Terns,
small Tits, big Tits, and . . . 1160
PISTHETAIROS
[interrupting]
Hold on, dammit—stop
calling all these birds.
You
idiot! In what sort of
sacrifice
[890]
does one call for ospreys
and for vultures?
Don’t you see—one
kite could snatch this goat,
then carry it away? Get
out of here,
you and your garlands,
too. I’ll do it myself—
I’ll offer up this beast
all on my own.
[Pisthetairos
pushes the Priest away. Exit Priest]
CHORUS
Now once again I have to sing
a song to purify you all,
a
holy sacred melody.
1170
The Blessed Ones I have to call—
but if you’re in a mood to eat
we just need one and not a score
for
here our sacrificial
meat
[900]
is horns and hair, and nothing more.
PISTHETAIROS
Let us pray while we make
sacrifice
to our feathery gods . . . [raises
his eyes to sky and shuts his eyes]
[A
poet suddenly bursts on the scene reciting his verses as he enters]
POET
[reciting]
O Muse, in your songs sing
the renown
of Cloudcuckooland—this happy
town . . .
PISTHETAIROS
Where’d this thing come from?
Tell me—who are you? 1180
POET
Me? I’m a sweet tongued
warbler of the words—
a nimble servant of the Muse,
as Homer
says.
[910]
PISTHETAIROS
You’re a slave and wear
your hair that long?
POET
No, but all poets of
dramatic songs
are nimble servants of the
Muse, as Homer says.
PISTHETAIROS
No doubt that’s why your
nimble cloak’s so thin.
But, oh poet, why has thou
come hither?
POET
I’ve been making up all
sorts of splendid songs
to celebrate your fine
Cloudcuckoolands—
dithyrambs and virgin songs
and other
tunes 1190
after the style of that Simonides.*
PISTHETAIROS
When did you compose these
tunes? Some time ago?
[920]
POET
O long long ago—yes,
I’ve been singing
the glory of this town for
years.
PISTHETAIROS
Look
here—
I’ve just been making
sacrifice today—
the day our city gets its
name. What’s more,
it’s only now, as with a
new-born child,
I’ve given it that name.
POET
Ah yes, but Muses’ words are
swift indeed—
like twinkling hooves on rapid
steeds.
So thou, oh father,
first of
Aetna’s
kings, 1200
whose name means lots of holy things,
present me something from thy
grace
whate’er you wish, just nod
your face.*
[930]
PISTHETAIROS
This fellow here is going
to give us trouble—
unless we can escape by giving
something.
[Calling
one of the slaves]
You there with the tunic and the jerkin on.
Strip off the leather jerkin.
Give it up
to this master poet. Take this
jerkin.
You look as if you’re really
freezing cold.
POET
The darling Muse accepts
the gift
1210
and not unwillingly—
But now your wit should get a
lift
from Pindar’s words which . . .
PISTHETAIROS
This fellow’s never going
to go
away!
[940]
POET [making
up a quotation]
“Out there amid nomadic
Scythians,
he wanders from the host in
all his shame,
he who has no woven garment
shuttle-made—
a jerkin on, but no tunic to
his name.”
I speak so you can understand.
PISTHETAIROS
Yes, I get it—you
want
the tunic,
too.
1220
[To the slave] Take it off. We must assist our poets.
Take it and get out.
POET
I’m
on my way—
But as I go I’ll still make
songs like these
in honour of your city—
“O thou sitting on a golden
throne,
[950]
sing to celebrate that shivering, quivering land.
I walked its snow-swept
fruitful plains . . .”
[At
this point Pisthetairos has had enough. He grabs the poet and throws him into
the wings]
POET
[as he exits]
Aaaaiiiii!
PISTHETAIROS
[calling after him]
Well, by Zeus, at least you’ve
now put behind
the cold, since you’ve got
that little tunic on!
God knows, that’s a problem
I’d not thought about— 1230
he learned about our city here so fast.
[resuming the sacrifice]
Come, boy, pick up the holy water
and walk around again. Let
everyone
observe a sacred holy silence
now . . .
[Enter
an Oracle Monger, quickly interrupting the ceremony. He is carrying a scroll]
ORACLE
MONGER
Don’t sacrifice that goat!
PISTHETAIROS
What?
Who are you?
ORACLE
MONGER
Who am I? I’m an oracular
interpreter.
PISTHETAIROS
To hell with you!
[960]
ORACLE
MONGER
Now, now, my dear good man,
don’t disparage things divine.
You should know
there’s an oracle of Bacis
which speaks
of your Cloudcuckooland—it’s
pertinent. 1240
PISTHETAIROS
Then how come you didn’t
talk to me
about this prophecy some time
before
I set my city here?
ORACLE
MONGER
I could not do that—
powers divine held me in check.
PISTHETAIROS
Well,
I guess
there’s nothing wrong in
listening to it now.
ORACLE
MONGER [unrolling the scroll and reading from it]
“Once grey crows and wolves shall
live together
in that space between Corinth
and Sicyon . . .”
PISTHETAIROS
What my connection to
Corinthians?
ORACLE
MONGER
Its
Bacis’ cryptic way of
saying
“air.”
[970]
“First sacrifice to Pandora a white-fleeced ram. 1250
Whoever first comes to prophesy my words,
let him receive a brand new
cloak and sandals.”
PISTHETAIROS
Are sandals in there, too?
ORACLE
MONGER [showing the scroll]
Consult the book.
“Give him the bowl, fill his
hands full with offal . . .”
PISTHETAIROS
The entrails? Does it says
that in there?
ORACLE
MONGER
Consult the book.
“Inspired youth,
if thou dost complete what
here I do command,
thou shalt become an eagle in
the clouds—if not,
if thou will not give them me,
you’ll ne’er become 1260
an eagle, or a turtle dove, or woodpecker.”
PISTHETAIROS
That’s all in there, as
well?
ORACLE
MONGER
Consult
the
book.
[980]
PISTHETAIROS
[pulling out a sheet of paper from under his tunic]
Your oracle is not at all like
this one—
Apollo’s very words. I them
wrote down.
“When an impostor comes
without an invitation—
a cheating rogue—and
pesters men at sacrifice,
so keen is he to taste the
inner parts, well then,
he must be beaten hard between
the ribs . . .”
ORACLE
MONGER
I don’t think you’re
reading that.
PISTHETAIROS
Consult
the book.
“Do not spare him, even if
he’s way up there, 1270
an eagle in the clouds, or if he’s Lampon
or great Diopeithes in the
flesh.”*
ORACLE
MONGER
That’s not in there, is it?
PISTHETAIROS
Consult
the book.
Now, get out! To hell with you
. . .
{Pisthetairos
beats the Oracle Monger off stage, hitting him with the scroll]
ORACLE
MONGER
Ooooh
. . . poor me! [Exit]
[990]
PISTHETAIROS
Run off and do your
soothsaying somewhere else!
[Enter
Meton, carrying various surveying instruments, and wearing soft leather buskin
boots]*
METON
I have come here among you
all . . .
PISTHETAIROS
Here’s
more trouble.
And what have you come
here to do? Your scheme—
what’s it look like? What do
you have in mind?
Why hike up here in buskin?
METON
I
intend
to measure out the air for you—dividing
it 1280
in surveyed lots.
PISTHETAIROS
For heaven’s
sake,
who are you?
METON
[shocked]
Who
am I? I’m Meton—
famous throughout Greece and
Colonus.*
PISTHETAIROS
What are these things
you’ve got?
METON
Rods
to
measure air.
You see, the air is, in
its
totality,
[1000]
shaped like a domed pot cover . . . Thus . . . and so,
from up above I’ll lay my
ruler . . . it bends . . . thus . . .
set my compass inside there .
. . You see?
PISTHETAIROS
I don’t get it.
METON
With
this straight ruler here
I measure this, so that
your
circle
here 1290
becomes a square—and right in the middle there
we have a market place, with
straight highways
proceeding to the centre, like
a star,
which, although circular,
shines forth straight beams
in all directions . . . Thus .
. .
PISTHETAIROS
This
man’s a Thales*
Now, Meton . . .
METON
What?
PISTHETAIROS
You know I love you—
[1010]
so do as I say and head out of town.
METON
Am I in peril?
PISTHETAIROS
It’s
like in Sparta—
they’re kicking strangers out—lots
of trouble—
plenty of beatings on the way
through
town. 1300
METON
You mean a revolution?
PISTHETAIROS
God no, not that.
METON
Then what?
PISTHETAIROS
They’ve reached a firm decision—
it was unanimous—to
punch out every quack.
METON
I think I’d best be off.
PISTHETAIROS
You
should, by god,
although you may not be in
time—the blows
are coming thick and fast . . .
[Pisthetairos
starts hitting Meton]
METON
[running off]
O dear me . . . I’m in a pickle.
[Exit
Meton. Pisthetairos yells after him]
PISTHETAIROS
Didn’t I say that some
time ago?
Go somewhere else and do your
measuring!
[1020]
[Enter
an Athenian Commissioner. He is carrying voting urns. He is dressed in an
extravagantly official costume]*
COMMISSIONER
Where are your honorary
governors?
PISTHETAIROS
Who is this man—a
Sardanapallos?*
1310
COMMISSIONER
I have come here to
Cloudcuckooland
as your Commissioner—I was
picked by lot.
PISTHETAIROS
As Commissioner? Who sent
you here?
COMMISSIONER
Some dreadful paper from
that Teleas.*
PISTHETAIROS
How’d you like to receive
your salary
and leave, without doing
anything?
COMMISSIONER
By
god,
that would be nice. I should
be staying at home
for the assembly. I’ve been
doing some work
on Pharnakes’ behalf.*
PISTHETAIROS
Then
take your fee
and go. Here’s what you get .
. . [strikes him]
COMMISSIONER
What
was that?
1320
PISTHETAIROS
A
motion on behalf of
Pharnakes.
[1030]
[Pisthetairos
strikes him again]
COMMISSIONER
I call on witnesses—he’s
hitting me—
He can’t do that—I’m a
Commissioner!
[Exit
the Commissioner, on the run. Pisthetairos chases him]
PISTHETAIROS
Piss off! And take your
voting urns with you!
Don’t you find it weird?
Already they’ve sent out
Commissioners to oversee the
city,
before we’ve made the gods a
sacrifice.
[Enter
a Statute-Seller reading from a long scroll]
STATUTE
SELLER
“If a resident of
Cloudcuckooland
should wrong a citizen of
Athens . . .”
PISTHETAIROS
Here come scrolls again—what’s
the trouble now? 1330
STATUE
SELLER
I’m a statute seller—and
I’ve come here
to sell you brand-new laws.
PISTHETAIROS
What
laws?
STATUTE
SELLER
Like
this—
“Residents of Cloudcuckooland
must
use
[1040]
the same weights and measures and currency
as those in Olophyxia.”*
PISTHETAIROS
[kicking him in the bum]
Soon enough
you’ll use them on your ass,
you Fix-your-Holean!!
STATUTE
SELLER
What’s up with you?
PISTHETAIROS
Take
your laws and shove off!
Today I’ll give you laws you
really feel!
[Statute
Seller runs off. The Commissioner enters from the other side, behind
Pisthetairos]
COMMISSIONER
[reading from a paper]
“I summon Pisthetairos to
appear in court
in April on a charge of
official outrage .
. .”
1340
PISTHETAIROS
[turning]
Really? You again! Why are
you still here?
[Pisthetairos
chases the Commissioner off again. The Statute Seller then re-appears on the
other side, also reading from a paper]
STATUTE
SELLER
“If anyone chases off
court officers
and won’t receive them as the
law decrees . .
.”
[1050]
PISTHETAIROS
[turning]
This is getting really bad—you
still here?
[Pisthetairos
chases off the Statute Seller. The Commissioner re-appears on the other side of
the stage]
COMMISSIONER
I’ll ruin you! I’ll take
you to court—
ten thousand drachmas you’ll .
. .
PISTHETAIROS:
[turning and chasing the Commissioner off stage]
And I’ll throw out those
voting urns of yours!
STATUTE
SELLER [reappearing]
Have you any memory of those
evenings
when you used to shit on
public pillars
where our laws are
carved? 1350
[The
Statute Seller turns his back on Pisthetairos, lifts up his tunic, and farts at
him]
PISTHETAIROS
[reacting to the smell]
Oh god! Someone grab him.
[The
slaves try to catch the Statute Seller but he runs off. Pisthetairos calls
after him]
Not going
to stick around?
[to slaves] Let’s get out of here—and fast. Go inside.
We’ll sacrifice the goat to the gods in there.
[Pisthetairos
and the slaves to inside the house]
CHORUS
All mortal men commencing
on this day
at every shrine will sacrifice
to me,
from now on offering me the
prayers they say,
[1060]
for I control them all and everything I see.
I watch the entire world, and
I protect
the growing crops, for I have
power to kill
the progeny of all the world’s
insects,
1360
whose all-devouring jaws would eat their fill
of what bursts out from seeds
on ground below,
or fruit above for those who
lodge in trees.
I kill the ones who, as the
greatest foe,
in sweet-smelling gardens
cause great injuries
All living beasts that bite
and crawl
are killed—my
wings
destroy them
all.
[1070]
CHORUS
LEADER
This public notice has
been proclaimed today:
the man who kills Diagoras the
Melian
will receive one talent—and
if one of you
1370
assassinates some tyrant long since dead and gone,
he, too, will get one talent.
So now, the birds, as well,
wish to make the same
announcement here. Any one
who kills Philocrates the
Sparrowman will get
one talent—and
if he brings him in alive,
he’ll get four.* That man strings finches up together,
then sells ‘em—a
single obol gets you seven.
He injures thrushes by
inflating them with air
[1080]
then puts them on display. And he stuff feathers
up the blackbird’s nose. He
captures pigeons, too, 1380
keeps them locked up, and forces them to work for him,
tied up as decoy birds,
underneath his nets.
We wish to make this known to
you. If anyone
is keeping birds in cages in
your courtyards,
we tell you, “Let them go.” If
you don’t obey,
you, in your turn, will be
arrested by the birds,
tied up and forced to work as
decoys where we live.
CHORUS
O happy tribes
of feathered birds—
we
never need
1390
a
winter cloak.
[1090]
In summer days
the sun’s far rays
don’t injure us.
I live at ease
among the leaves
in flowery fields.
In love with sun
cicadas sing
through
noonday heat
1400
their sharp-toned song
divinely sweet.
In winter caves
and hollow spots
I play all day
with mountain nymphs.
In spring we eat
white myrtle buds,
our virgin treat,
in
garden places
1410
of
the
Graces.
[1100]
CHORUS
LEADER
We want to speak to all
the judges here
about our victory—the
splendid things
we’ll give them if their
verdict goes our way—
how they’ll get much lovelier
gifts than those
which Alexander got.* And first of all,
what every judge is really
keen to have,
some owls of Laureium who’ll
never leave.*
They’ll nest inside your
homes, hatch in your purse,
and always breed small silver
change. And
then, 1420
as well as this, you’ll live in temple-homes.
The birds will make your roof
tops
eagle-style,
[1110]
with pediments.* If you hold some
office,
a minor post, and wish to get
rich quick,
we’ll set a sharp-beaked
falcon in your hands.
And if you need to eat, then
we’ll dispatch
a bird’s crop, where it keep
its stored-up food.
If you don’t vote for us, you
should prepare
some little metal plates to
guard your head.
You’ll need to wear them, just
like statues do.
1430
For those of you without that head plate
on,
when you dress up in fine
white brand-new clothes,
the birds will crap on as a
punishment.
[Enter
Pisthetairos from the house]
PISTHETAIROS
You birds, we’ve made a
splendid sacrifice.
But why is there still no
messenger
arriving from the walls
to
bring us
news
[1120]
of what’s going on up there? Ah, here comes one,
panting as if he’d run across
that stream
at Elis where Olympian
athletes race.
[Enter
First Messenger, out of breath]
FIRST
MESSENGER [he doubles up and can hardly speak]
Where is . . . Where is he . .
. where . . . where is . . . 1440
where . . . where . . . where . . . our governor Pisthetairos?
PISTHETAIROS
I’m here.
FIRST
MESSENGER
The building of your wall . . . it’s done.
PISTHETAIROS
That’s great news.
FIRST
MESSENGER
The result—the best there is . . .
the most magnificent . . . so
wide across . . .
that Proxenides of Braggadocio
and Theogenes could drive two
chariots
in opposite directions past
each other
along the top, with giant
horses yoked,
bigger than that wooden horse
at Troy.
PISTHETAIROS
[genuinely surprised]
By Hercules!
FIRST
MESSENGER
I
measured it myself—
1450 [1130]
its height—around six hundred feet.
PISTHETAIROS
Wow!
By Poseidon, that’s some
height! Who built the wall
as high as that?
FIRST
MESSENGER
The birds—nobody else.
No Egyptian bore the bricks—no mason,
no carpenter was there. They
worked by hand—
I was amazed. Thirty thousand
cranes flew in
from Lybia—they
brought foundation stones
they’d swallowed down. The
corn crakes chipped away
to form the proper shapes. Ten
thousand storks
brought bricks. Lapwings and
other river birds
1460
fetched water up into the air from down
below.
[1140]
PISTHETAIROS
Who hauled the mortar up
there for them?
FIRST
MESSENGER
Herons—
they carried hods.
PISTHETAIROS
How’d they load those hods?
FIRST
MESSENGER
My dear man, that was the cleverest
thing of all.
Geese shoved their feet into
the muck and slid them,
just like shovels, then
flicked it in the hods.
PISTHETAIROS
Is there anything we can’t
do with our feet?
FIRST
MESSENGER: Then, by god, the ducks, with slings attached
around their waists, set up
the bricks. Behind them
flew the swallows, like young
apprentice boys,
1470 [1150]
with trowels—they carried mortar in their mouths.
PISTHETAIROS
Why should we hire wage
labour any more?
Go on—who finished off the
woodwork on the wall?
FIRST
MESSENGER
The most skilled
craftsmen-birds of all of ‘em—
woodpeckers. They pecked away
to make the gates—
the noise those peckers made—an
arsenal!
Now the whole thing has gates.
They’re bolted shut
and guarded on all sides.
Sentries make rounds,
patrolling with their bells,
and everywhere
[1160]
troops are in position, with signal fires
1480
on every tower. But I must go now—
I need to wash. You’ll have to
do the rest.
[Exit
First Messenger]
CHORUS
LEADER
What’s up with you? Aren’t
you astonished
to hear the wall’s been finished
up so fast?
PISTHETAIROS
Yes, by gods, I am. It is
amazing!
To me it sounds just like some
made-up lie.
But here comes a guard from
there—he’ll bring news
to us down here of what’s
going on up top.
He face looks like a dancing
warrior’s.
[Enter
the Second Messenger in a great panic and out of breath]
SECOND
MESSENGER
Hey . . . hey . . . Help .
. . hey you . . .
help! 1490 [1170]
PISTHETAIROS
What’s going on?
SECOND
MESSENGER
We suffered something really bad . . .
one of the gods from Zeus has
just got through,
flown past the gates into the
air, slipping by
the jackdaw sentinels on
daytime watch.
PISTHETAIROS
That’s bad! A bold and
dangerous action.
Which god was it?
SECOND
MESSENGER
We’re not sure. He had wings—
we do know that.
PISTHETAIROS
You should have sent patrols
of frontier guards out after
him without delay.
SECOND
MESSENGER
We did dispatch the
mounted archers—
thirty thousand falcons, all
moving out
1500 [1180]
with talons curved and ready—kestrels, buzzards,
vultures, eagles, owls—the
air vibrating
with the beat and rustle of
their wings,
as they search out that god.
He’s not far off—
in fact, he’s here somewhere
already.
[Exit
Second Messenger]
PISTHETAIROS
We’ll have to get our
sling-shots out—and bows.
All you orderlies come here!
Fire away!
Strike out! Someone fetch a
sling for me!
[Xanthias
and Manodorus enter with slings and bows. The group huddles together with weapons
ready]
CHORUS [in
grand epic style]
And now the combat starts, a
strife beyond all words,
me and the gods at war. Let
every one beware, 1510 [1190]
protect the cloud-enclosing air, which Erebus
gave birth to long ago. Make
sure no god slips through
without our catching sight of
him. Maintain your watch
on every side—already
I can hear close by
the sound of beating wings
from some god in the sky.
[Enter
Iris, in long billowing dress and with a pair of wings. She descends from
above, suspended by a cable and hovering in mid-air flapping her wings]
PISTHETAIROS
Hey, you—just
where do you think you’re flying?
Keep still. Stay where you
are. Don’t move. Stop running. [1200]
Who are you? Where you from? You’ve got to tell me.
Where’d you come from?
IRIS
I’m
from the Olympian gods.
PISTHETAIROS
You got a name? You look
like a ship up there—
1520
the Salaminia or the Paralos.*
IRIS
I’m
fast Iris.
PISTHETAIROS
Fast as in a boat or fast
as in a bitch?
IRIS
What is all this?
PISTHETAIROS
Is there a buzzard here
who’ll fly up there to arrest
this woman?
IRIS
Arrest me? Why are you
saying such rubbish?
PISTHETAIROS
[making at attempt to hit Iris by swinging his sling]
You’re going to be very
sorry about this.
IRIS
This whole affair is most
unusual.
PISTHETAIROS
Listen, you silly old
fool, what gates
did you pass through to get by
the wall?
IRIS
What
gates?
By god, I don’t have the least
idea.
1530 [1210]
PISTHETAIROS
Listen to her—how
she feigns ignorance!
Did you go past the jackdaw
generals?
You won’t answer that? Well
then, where’s your pass,
the one the storks give out?
IRIS
What’s
wrong with you?
PISTHETAIROS
You don’t have one, do you?
IRIS
Have
you lost your wits?
PISTHETAIROS
Didn’t some captain of the
birds up there
stick a pass on you?
IRIS
By
god no, no one up there
made a pass or shoved his stick
at me, you wretch.
PISTHETAIROS
So you just fly in here,
without a word,
going through empty space and
through a city 1540
which don’t belong to you?
IRIS
What
other route
are gods supposed to fly?
PISTHETAIROS
I’ve no idea.
But, by god, not this way.
It’s not
legal.
[1220]
Right now you’re in breach of law. Do you know,
of all the Irises there are
around,
if you got what you most
deserve, you’d be
the one most justly seized and
sent to die.
IRIS
But I’m immortal.
PISTHETAIROS
In
spite of that,
you would have died. For it’s
obvious to me
that we’d be suffering
the
greatest
injury, 1550
if, while we rule all other things, you gods
do just what you like and
won’t recognize
how you must, in your turn,
attend upon
those more powerful than you.
So tell me,
where are you sailing on those
wings of yours?
IRIS
Me?
I’m flying to men from
father
Zeus,
[1230]
instructing them to sacrifice some sheep
to the Olympian gods on sacred
hearths—
and fill their streets with
smells of offerings.
PISTHETAIROS
Who
are you talking about?
Which
gods?
1560
IRIS
Which gods? Why us of
course—the gods in heaven.
PISTHETAIROS
And you’re the gods?
IRIS
Are
there any other deities?
PISTHETAIROS
The birds are now men’s
gods—and to the birds
men must now sacrifice and
not, by god, to Zeus.
IRIS
[in the grand tragic style]
Thou fool, thou fool, stir
not the awesome minds of gods,
lest Justice with the mighty
mattock of great Zeus
[1240]
destroy your race completely—and smoke-filled flames
from Licymnian lightning bolts
burn into ash
your body and your home . . .
PISTHETAIROS
[interrupting]
Listen, woman—stop
your spluttering.
Just keep still. Do you think
you’re scaring off
1570
some Lydian or Phrygian with such threats?
You should know this—if
Zeus keeps on annoying me,
I’ll burn his home and halls
of Amphion,
reduce them all to ash with
fire eagles.
I’ll send more than six
hundred birds—porphyrions
all dressed in leopard skins,
up there to heaven,
[1250]
to war on him. Once a single porphyrion
caused him distress enough.* And as for you,
if you keep trying to piss me
off, well then,
I’ll deal with Zeus’ servant
Iris first— 1580
I’ll fuck your knickers off—you’d be surprised
how hard an old man’s prick
like mine can be—
it’s strong enough to ram your
hull three times.
IRIS
Blast you, you wretch, and
your obscenities!
PISTHETAIROS
Go way! Get a move on!
Shoo!
[Iris
begins to move up and away]
IRIS
My
father
won’t stand for insolence like
this—he’ll stop you!
PISTHETAIROS
Just
go away, you silly
fool! Fly
off
[1210]
and burn someone to ashes somewhere else.
[Exit
Iris]
CHORUS
On Zeus’ family of gods
we’ve shut our door—
they’ll not be passing through
my city any more. 1590
Nor will men down below in future time invoke
the gods by sending them their
sacrificial smoke.
PISTHETAIROS
Something’s wrong. That
messenger we sent,
the one that went to human
beings, what if
he never gets back here
again?
[1270]
[Enter
First Herald, a bird, carrying a golden crown]
FIRST
HERALD
O Pisthetairos, you
blessed one,
wisest and most celebrated of
all men . . .
the cleverest and happiest . .
. trebly blest . . .
[he’s run out of
adjectives] . . . Speak something to me . . .
PISTHETAIROS
What
are you saying?
FIRST
HERALD [offering Pisthetairos the golden crown]
All people, in honour of
your wisdom,
1600
crown you with this golden diadem.
PISTHETAIROS
[putting on the crown]
I accept.
But why do people honour me so
much?
FIRST
HERALD
O you founder of this most
famous town,
this city in the sky, do you
not know
how much respect you have
among all men,
how many men there are who
love this place?
Before you built your
city in
the
air,
[1280]
all men were mad for Sparta—with long hair,
they went around half starved
and never washed,
like Socrates—and
carrying knobbed
sticks. 1610
But now they’ve all completely changed—these days
they’re crazy for the birds.
For sheer delight
they imitate the birds in
everything.
Early in the day when they’ve
just got up,
like us, they all flock to
feed together,
but on their laws, browsing
legal leaflets,
nibbling their fill of all
decrees. So mad
have they become for birds
that many
men
[1290]
have had the names of birds assigned to them.
One lame tradesman now is
called the Partridge. 1620
And Melanippus’ name is changed to Swallow,*
Opuntius the Raven with One
Eye.
Philocles becomes the Lark,
and Sheldrake
is now Teagenes’ name.
Lycurgus
has become the Ibis,
Chaerephon the Bat,
Syracosius the Jay, and
Meidias
is now named the Quail—he
looks like one
right after the quail
flicker’s tapped its head.*
They’re so in love with
birds they all sing
songs
[1300]
with
lines about a swallow
or a duck,
1630
or goose, some kind of
pigeon, or just wings,
even about some tiny bits
of feather.
That what’s going on down
there. I tell you,
more than ten thousand men
are coming here,
demanding wings and talons
in their lives.
You’ve got to find a way
to get some wings
for your new colonists and
settlers.
[Exit
First Herald]
PISTHETAIROS
All right, by god, this is
no time for us
to just stand around. [To
a slave] You, get inside there—
fill all the crates and
baskets up with
feathers. 1640 [1310]
Get on with it as fast as
possible.
Let Manes haul the wings
out here to me.*
I’ll welcome those who
come from down below.
[Xanthias
and Manodoros go inside the house and start bringing out baskets of feathers]
CHORUS
Our city soon will have a
reputation
for a large and swelling
population.
PISTHETAIROS
Just let our luck hold out!
CHORUS
Our city here inspires so
much love . . .
PISTHETAIROS
[to Manodoros, who is bringing out a basket]
I’m telling you you’ve got
to bring it fast!
CHORUS
For what do we not have
here up above
which any men require in
their places? 1650
Desire, Wisdom, and
eternal Graces—
we’ve got them all and
what is still the best—
the happy face of gentle
peaceful Rest.
PISTHETAIROS
[to Manes who is taking his time bringing out more baskets]
God, you’re a lazy slave—move
it! Faster!
CHORUS
Let him bring the wings in
baskets on the go—
then once more run at him—give
him a blow.
The lad is like a donkey—he’s that
slow.
PISTHETAIROS
[frantically sorting feathers]
Yes, that Manes is a
useless slave.
CHORUS
Now
first of all you need
to
sort
[1330]
these wings all out for
each cohort— 1660
musical wings and wings of
seers,
wings for the sea. You
must be clear—
you need to look at all
such things
when you give every man
his wings.
[Manes
comes out with a basket, again moving very slowly]
PISTHETAIROS
[going at Manes and grabbling him]
By the kestrels, I can’t
stop grabbing you—
when I see how miserably
slow you are.
[Manes
twists loose and runs back into the house. A young man enters singing]
YOUNG MAN
[singing]
Oh, I wish I could an
eagle be
soaring high above the
barren sea,
the grey-blue ocean swell
so free.
PISTHETAIROS
It looks like our
messenger told us the truth—
1670
here comes someone singing
that eagle-song.
YOUNG
MAN
Damn it—there’s
nothing in the world as sweet
as flying . . .
<PISTHETAIROS
You’ve come to get some
wings from us, I guess.*>
YOUNG
MAN
Yes, I’m in love with all
your birdy ways—
I want to live with you
and fly. Besides,
I think your laws are
really keen.
PISTHETAIROS
What laws? The birds have
many laws.
YOUNG
MAN
All of them—but I
really like that one
which says it’s all right
for a younger bird
to beat up his old man and
strangle him. 1680
PISTHETAIROS
Yes, by god, we think it
very manly
when a bird, while still a
chick, beats up his dad. [1350]
YOUNG MAN
That’s why I want to
re-locate up here—
I’d love to choke my
father, get all his stuff.
PISTHETAIROS
But there’s an ancient law
among the birds—
inscribed in stone on tablets
of the storks,
“When father stork has
raised up all his young,
when they are set to fly
out of the nest,
then young storks must, in
their turn, care for him.”
YOUNG
MAN
So coming here has been no
use, by god,
1690
if I’ve now got to feed my
father, too.
PISTHETAIROS
No, no. My dear young man,
since you came here
[1360]
in all good faith, I’ll
fix you up with wings
just like an orphan bird.* And I’ll give you
some fresh advice—something
I learned myself
when I was just a lad.
Don’t thump your dad.
[Pisthetairos
starts dressing the boy as a bird as he says the following lines]
Take this
wing here, and in your other hand
hold this spur tight.
Think of this crest on top
as from a fighting cock.
Then stand your guard,
go on a march, live on a
soldier’s pay— 1700
and let your father live.
You like to fight,
so fly away to territories
in Thrace,
and do your fighting there.
YOUNG
MAN
By Dionysus,
I
think the advice you
give is
good.
[1370]
I’ll do just what you say.
PISTHETAIROS
And now, by
Zeus,
you’re talking sense.
[Exit
Young Man. Enter Cinesias, singing and dancing very badly]*
CINESIAS
[singing]
To Olympus on high
with my wings
I will fly—
On this
song’s path I’ll soar
and then sing
a few more . .
. 1710
PISTHETAIROS
This creature needs a whole pile
of wings!
CINESIAS
[singing]
For my
body and mind
know not
fear, so I’ll find . . .
PISTHETAIROS
Cinesias, welcome. Let me
now greet
a man as thin as bark on
linden trees!
Why have you come whirling
here on such lame feet?
CINESIAS
A bird—that’s
what I long to be,
[1380]
a clear-voice
nightingale—that’s me.
PISTHETAIROS
Stop singing—just
tell me what you want to say.
CINESIAS
I want you to give me
wings then float
up, 1720
flying high into the
clouds where I can pluck
wind-whirling preludes
swept with snow.
PISTHETAIROS
You want to get your
preludes from the clouds?
CINESIAS
But all our skill depends
upon the clouds.
Our brilliant dithyrambs
are made of air—
of mist and gleaming murk
and wispy wings.
You’ll soon see that—once
you’ve heard a
few.
[1390]
PISTHETAIROS
No, no—I
won’t.
CINESIAS
Yes, by Hercules, you
will.
For you I’ll run through all the airs . . . [starts singing]
Oh
you images
of
birds, 1730
who extend your wings,
who tread upon the air,
you long-necked birds . . .
PISTHETAIROS
[trying to interrupt]
All right. Enough!
CINESIAS
[ignoring Pisthetairos, continuing to sing another song]
Soaring upward as I roam.
I wander floating on the
breeze . . .
PISTHETAIROS
[looking in one of the baskets of wings]
By heaven, I’ll stop these
blasting winds of yours!
[Pisthetairos
takes a pair of wings and starts poking Cinesias around the stage with them,
tickling him]
CINESIAS
[dodging away from Pisthetairos, giggling, and continuing to sing]
First I head along the
highway going down south,
but then my body turns
towards the windy north,
as I slice airy furrows
where no harbour lies . .
. 1740 [1400]
[Cinesias
has to stop singing because Pisthetairos is tickling him too much with the
wings. He stops running off and singing. He’s somewhat out of breath]
Old man,
that’s a clever trick—pleasant, too—
but really clever.
PISTHETAIROS
You mean you don’t enjoy
being whisked with wings?
CINESIAS
Is
that the way you treat
the man who trains the cyclic
choruses—
the one whom tribes of men
still fight to have?*
PISTHETAIROS
Would you like to stick
around this place
to train a chorus here for
Leotrophides,*
made up of flying birds—the
swallow tribe?
CINESIAS
You’re making fun of me—that’s
obvious.
But I won’t stop here until I
get some wings
1750
and I can run through all the airs.
[Exit
Cinesias. Enter a Sycophant, singing to himself]
SYCOPHANT
[singing]
Who are these birds with mottled
wing?
[1410]
They don’t appear to own a thing—
O dappled swallow with
extended wing . . .
PISTHETAIROS
This is no minor problem
we’ve stirred up—
here comes one more person
singing to himself.
SYCOPHANT
[singing]
O long and dappled wings,
I call once more . . .
PISTHETAIROS
It seems to me his song’s
about his cloak—
he needs a lot of swallows to
bring in the spring.*
SYCOPHANT
Where’s the man who’s
handing out the wings
1760
to all who travel here?
PISTHETAIROS
He’s
standing here.
But you should tell me what
you need.
SYCOPHANT
Wings,
wings.
I need wings. Don’t ask me
that
again.
[1420]
PISTHETAIROS
Do you intend to fly off
right away,
heading for Pellene?
SYCOPHANT
No,
not at all.
I’m a summons server for the
islands—
an informer, too . . .
PISTHETAIROS
You’re
a lucky man
to have such a fine profession.
SYCOPHANT
.
. . and I hunt around
to dig up law suits. That’s
why I need wings,
to roam around
delivering
summonses
1770
in allied states.
PISTHETAIROS
If you’re equipped with wings,
will that make you more
skilled in serving men?
SYCOPHANT
No. But I’d escape being
hurt by pirates.
And then I could return home
with the cranes,
once I’ve swallowed many law
suits down
to serve as ballast.*
PISTHETAIROS
Is that what you do for work?
[1430]
Tell me this—you’re a strong young lad and yet
don’t you slander strangers
for a living?
SYCOPHANT
What can I do? I never
learned to dig.
PISTHETAIROS
But,
by god, there are
other decent
jobs,
1780
where a young man like you can earn his way,
more honest trades than
launching still more law suits.
SYCOPHANT
My good man, don’t keep
lecturing me like this.
Give me some wings.
PISTHETAIROS
I’m
giving you some wings—
I’m doing it as I talk to you right
now.
SYCOPHANT
How can you put wings on
men with words?
PISTHETAIROS
With words all men can
give themselves their wings.
SYCOPHANT
All men?
PISTHETAIROS
Have you never heard in barber shops
how fathers always talk of
their young sons—
[1440]
“It’s dreadful the way that Diitrephes’
speech
1790
has given my young lad ambitious wings,
so now he wants to race his
chariot.”
Another says “That boy of mine
has wings
and flutters over tragedies.”
SYCOPHANT
So
with words
they’re really given wings?
PISTHETAIROS
That
what I said.
With words our minds are
raised—a man can soar.
That’s how I want to give you
wings—with words,
with useful words, so you can
change your life
and get a lawful occupation.
SYCOPHANT
But I don’t want
to.
[1450]
PISTHETAIROS
What will you do?
SYCOPHANT
I’ll
not disgrace my folks.
1800
Informing—that’s my family’s profession.
So give me now some light,
fast falcon’s wings—
or kestrel’s—then
I can serve my papers
on those foreigners, lay the
charges here,
and fly back there again.
PISTHETAIROS
Ah,
I get it—
what you’re saying is that the
case is judged
before the stranger gets here.
SYCOPHANT
That’s
right.
You understand exactly what I
do.
PISTHETAIROS
And then, while he’s
travelling here by ship,
you fly out there to
seize his
property. 1900
SYCOPHANT
You’ve
said it all. I’ve
got to whip
around
[1460]
just like a whirling top.
PISTHETAIROS
I
understand—
a whirling top. Well, here, by
god, I’ve got
the finest wings. They’re from
Corcyra . . . here!
[Pisthetairos
produces a whip from the basket and begins hitting the Sycophant, who dodges
around to evade the blows]
SYCOPHANT
Ouch! That’s a whip you’ve
got!
PISTHETAIROS
No—a pair of wings.
With them I’ll make you spin
around all day!
SYCOPHANT
Ow! Help! That hurts!
PISTHETAIROS
Wing
your way from here!
Get lost—I
want rid of you, you rascal!
I’ll show you legal tricks and
twists—sharp ones, too!
[Pisthetairos
beats the Sycophant off stage. Enter Xanthias and Manodorus from the house]
Let’s
gather up these wings and go
inside. 1910
[Pisthetairos
and the two slaves carry the baskets of wings back into the house]
CHORUS:
When
we
fly
[1470]
we
often spy
strange
amazing spots—
in
those flights
peculiar
sights.
There’s a tree grows far from us
simply called Cleonymos,
a useless tree, without a
heart—
immense, and vile in every
part.
It always blooms in
early
spring,
1920
bursting forth with everything
that launches legal
quarrelling.
and then in winter time
it
yields
[1480]
a shedding foliage of shields.
There’s a land
ringed by the dark,
a gloomy wilderness,
where Heroes meet
and with men eat.
Men
live with heroes in that place,
1930
except at dusk—then it’s not safe
for the two of them to meet.
Men who in the night
time
greet
[1490]
the great Orestes are stripped bare
he strikes at them and leaves
them there.
And so without their clothes
they bide—
paralysed on their right side.*
[Enter
Prometheus, muffling his face in a long scarf and holding an unopened umbrella]
PROMETHEUS
Oh, dear, dear, dear. I
pray Zeus doesn’t see me.
Where’s Pisthetairos?
[Pisthetairos
enters from the house carrying a chamber pot. He is surprised to see the new
arrival]
PISTHETAIROS
Who’s this? Why so muffled?
PROMETHEUS
Do
you see any god who’s
trailed me
here?
1940
PISTHETAIROS
No, by Zeus, I don’t. But
who are you?
PROMETHEUS
What time of day is it?
PISTHETAIROS
What
time of day?
A little after noon. But who
are you?
PROMETHEUS
Quitting
time or
later?
[1500]
PISTHETAIROS
You’re
pissing me off . . .
PROMETHEUS
What’s Zeus up to? What
about the clouds—
is he scattering ‘em—or
bringing ‘em together?
PISTHETAIROS
You’re a total fool!
PROMETHEUS
All
right—then I’ll unwrap.
[Prometheus
takes off the muffler concealing his face]
PISTHETAIROS
Prometheus, my friend!
PROMETHEUS
Hey,
quiet. Don’t shout.
PISTHETAIROS
What’s the matter?
PROMETHEUS
Shhh
. . . don’t shout my name.
I’m done for if Zeus
can see
I’m
here. 1950
But I’ll tell you what’s going on up there,
if you take this umbrella.
Hold it up,
above our heads—that
way no god can see.
PISTHETAIROS
Ah ha! Now that’s a smart
precaution—
[1510]
that’s forethought, just like Prometheus!
Come under here—make
it fast—all right, now,
you can talk without a worry.
[Pisthetairos
and Prometheus huddle together under the umbrella]
PROMETHEUS
Then
listen.
PISTHETAIROS
I’m listening—speak
up.
PROMETHEUS
Zeus
is done for.
PISTHETAIROS
And when was he done in?
PROMETHEUS
It
happened
once you colonized the air.
From that point on,
1960
no human being has made a sacrifice
to any god, not once—and
since that time
no savoury smells from
roasting thigh bones
have risen up to us from down
below.
So now, without our offerings,
we must fast,
as if it’s time for
Thesmophoria.*
The barbarian gods are
starving—so
now [1520]
they scream out like Illyrians and say
their armies will march down
attacking Zeus,
unless he moves to get the
ports re-opened,
1970
to make sliced entrails once again available.
PISTHETAIROS
You mean other gods,
barbarian ones,
are there above you?
PROMETHEUS
Barbarian deities? Of
course.
That’s where Execestides
derives
all his ancestral family gods.
PISTHETAIROS
What’s the name of these
barbarian gods?
PROMETHEUS
The name? They’re called
Triballians.*
PISTHETAIROS
I see—that
must be where we get our phrase
they’ve got me “by the
balls.”
[1530]
PROMETHEUS
You
got that right.
Now let me tell you something
to the point—
1980
ambassadors are coming here to settle this,
from Zeus and those
Triballians up there.
But don’t agree to peace
unless great Zeus
gives back his sceptre to the
birds again,
and gives the Princess to you
as your wife.
PISTHETAIROS
Whose this Princess?
PROMETHEUS
The
loveliest of girls—
she’s the one in charge of
Zeus’ thunderbolt
and all his assets—wise
advice, good laws,
sound common sense, dockyards,
slanderous talk—
[1540]
his
paymistress who hands three obols
out 1990
to jury men . . .
PISTHETAIROS
So in Zeus’ name,
she’s the one in charge of
everything?
PROMETHEUS
That’s
right.
If you get her from Zeus,
you’ve got it all.
That’s why I came here to tell
you this.
I’ve always been a friend of
human beings.
PISTHETAIROS
Yes, of all the gods it’s
thanks to you
that we can fry up fish.*
PROMETHEUS
I
hate all gods—
but you know that.
PISTHETAIROS
You’ve always hated them.
Heaven knows—it’s
something natural to you.
PROMETHEUS
I’m Timon through and
through.* Time to get
back. 2000
So let me have the parasol. That way,
if Zeus does catch sight of me
from there,
he’ll think I’m following some
basket girl.
PISTHETAIROS
Take the piss pot, too—then
you can act
as if you’re the one who’s
carrying the stool.
[Prometheus
leaves with the umbrella and the pot. Pisthetairos goes back into the house]
CHORUS
By that tribe of men with
such huge feet
they use them for a shade
retreat,
there’s stands a lake where
Socrates,
deceives men’s souls, that
unwashed tease.
Peisander went there to
find
out 2010
the spirit his life had been without.
A big young camel he
did
slay, [1560]
then, like Odysseus, snuck away.
By camel’s blood to that place
drawn,
up pops a Bat—it’s
Chaerephon!*
[Enter
Poseidon, Hercules, and the Triballian god]
POSEIDON
Here it is—Cloudcuckooland—in
plain view,
city we’ve come to as
ambassadors.
[Poseidon
inspects the clothing on the Triballian god]
What are you doing? Why drape your cloak that way,
from right to left? It’s got
to be re-slung
the other way—like
this.
[The
Triballian tries to reshape his cloak but gets in a mess]
You
fumbling idiot— 2020
a born Laespodias, that’s what you are!*
O democracy! Where are you
taking
us,
[1570]
when gods vote in a clumsy oaf like this?
[Poseidon
continues to fuss over the Triballian’s appearance]
Keep your hands still! Oh, to hell with you!
You’re the most uncivilized of
all the gods
I’ve ever seen. All right,
Hercules,
what do we do?
HERCULES
You’ve heard what I propose.
I’d like to wring his neck—whoever
he is
who set up this blockade
against the gods.
POSEIDON
But you forget, my friend,
that we’ve been sent
2030
as envoys to negotiate down here.
HERCULES
That just makes me want to
throttle him
twice as much as I wanted to
before.
[The
wall of the house now moves off to reveal Pisthetairos and the slaves getting
dinner ready. They are preparing birds to cook in the oven]
PISTHETAIROS
The grater for the cheese—can
someone get it?
And bring the silphium. Hand
me the cheese.
Now, fire up the coals.
[1580]
POSEIDON
Greetings,
mortal.
We three are gods, and we
salute you!
PISTHETAIROS
But I’m grating silphium
right now.
HERCULES
What kind of meat is this?
PISTHETAIROS
The
meat’s from birds—
they’ve been tried and
sentenced for rebellion, 2040
rising up against the fowl democracy.
HERCULES
Is that why you’re
shredding silphium
all over them before doing
something else?
PISTHETAIROS
[looking up and recognizing Hercules]
Well, hello there,
Hercules. What’s up?
POSEIDON
We’ve come as envoys sent
down from the gods
to negotiate the terms for
peace.
PISTHETAIROS
[to one of the slaves]
There’s no oil left in the
jug.
HERCULES
And
bird meat
should be glistening
with lots
of
oil.
[1590]
POSEIDON
We gods get no advantage
from this war.
If you and yours were friendly
to the gods,
2050
you’d have water from the rain in all your ponds—
halcyon days would be here all
the time.
We’ve come with total powers
in such things.
PISTHETAIROS
From the start we didn’t
launch a war on you—
and we’re ready to talk peace,
if that’s your wish,
provided you’re prepared to do
what’s right.
And here’s what’s right: Zeus
gives his sceptre back
to us—I mean the birds—once
more. And then,
if we can settle this on these
conditions,
I’ll invite the envoys to have
lunch with
me. 2060
HERCULES [salivating
over the prepared bird]
That’s just fine with me! I
vote we say . . .
POSEIDON
[interrupting]
What’s that you fool!
Idiotic glutton!
You want give away your
father’s power? [1600]
PISTHETAIROS
Is that what you think?
Look, if birds here
rule everything down there,
won’t you gods above
be even stronger? Now
underneath the clouds
men can bend down and swear
false oaths to you.
But once the birds and you
become allies,
[1610]
if any man should swear by Raven and by Zeus
and then perjure himself,
Raven would come
by, 2070
swoop down upon the man before he sees him,
peck at his eye and pluck it
out.
POSEIDON
By
Poseidon,
what you’re saying makes good
sense!
HERCULES
Sounds
good to me.
PISTHETAIROS
[to the Triballian god]
What do you say?
TRIBALLIAN
[speaking foreign gibberish]
Nab
aist roo.
PISTHETAIROS
You hear what he said? He
agrees with you.
Now listen up—here’s
yet another benefit
you’ll get from us. If any man
once vows
to one of the gods he’ll
sacrifice a beast,
then tries to talk his way out
of doing it
by splitting hairs and, acting
on his greed,
2080
holds back his vow, saying “Gods are
patient,”
[1620]
we’ll make him pay for that as well.
POSEIDON
How?
Tell us how you’d do that.
PISTHETAIROS
Well,
at some point,
when that man is counting up
his wealth
or sitting in his bath, some
kite will fly down,
while he’s not paying
attention, grab his cash,
the value of two sheep, and
carry that
up to the god.
HERCULES
He gets my vote again—
I say we give the sceptre back
to them.
POSEIDON
All right—ask
the
Triballian. 2090
HERCULES [threateningly]
Hey,
you—
Triballian—want
me to smack you round?
TRIBALLIAN
[afraid]
Oo smacka skeen dat steek?
HERCULES
He
says it’s fine—
he agrees with me.
POSEIDON
Well, if it’s
what you
want,
[1630]
then it’s all right with
me.
HERCULES
[to Pisthetairos]
Hey, we’re ready to agree
to terms
about the sceptre.
PISTHETAIROS
By god,
there’s one more thing—
I’ve just remembered. I’ll
let Zeus keep Hera,
but he must give me that
young girl Princess.
She’s to be my wife.
POSEIDON
Then you
don’t want
a real negotiation. Come
on, let’s go back home.
PISTHETAIROS
That’s up to you. Hey,
cook, watch that
gravy.
2100
Make sure you make it
sweet!
HERCULES
Hey,
Poseidon,
my dear fellow, where you
going? Come on,
are we going to war about
a woman?
POSEIDON
What should we do?
HERCULES
Do? Settle
this matter.
POSEIDON
What? You fool! Don’t you
see what he’s doing,
how all this time he’s
been deceiving you?
You’re ruining yourself,
you know. If Zeus dies,
after giving all his
sovereignty to birds,
you’ll have nothing. Right
now you’re his heir—
you get whatever’s left
when Zeus departs. 2200
PISTHETAIROS
[to Hercules]
Oh dear, dear—how
he’s trying to play with you.
Come on over here—let
me tell you something.
[Pisthetairos
and Hercules talk apart from the others]
You uncles’s
putting one over on you,
you poor fool—because,
according to the law,
you don’t get the smallest
piece of property
from your father’s goods.
You’re illegitimate—
[1650]
you’re a bastard.
HERCULES
A bastard?
What do you mean?
PISTHETAIROS
I mean just what I say.
Now, your mother—
she was an alien woman.
And Athena—
do
you think a daughter
could inherit
2210
if she’s got legal
brothers?
HERCULES
[very puzzled]
But once he
dies,
couldn’t my dad leave me
all his property
as a bastard’s share?
PISTHETAIROS
The law won’t
let him.
The first one to claim
your father’s property
will be Poseidon here,
who’s raised your hopes.
He’ll claim he’s your
father’s legal brother.
I’ll read you what Solon’s
laws dictate—
[1660]
[Pisthetairos
pulls a piece of paper out and reads]
“If there are
lawful children, then a bastard
has no rights as a close
blood relative.
If there are no lawful
children, the
goods 2220
go to the nearest next of
kin.”
HERCULES
What!
I don’t get anything from
daddy’s stuff?
PISTHETAIROS
Not a thing, by god. So
tell me this—
has your father introduced you
to his kin group yet?*
HERCULES
No, not me. As a matter of
fact,
I’ve been wondering about that
for some time.
PISTHETAIROS
Well, don’t just stare up
there, mouth wide open,
planning an assault. Join up
with us instead.
I’ll make you a king and give you
bird’s
milk. 2230
HERCULES
I’ve always thought you’re
right in what you say
about the girl. I’d hand her
over to you.
PISTHETAIROS
[to Poseidon]
What do you say?
POSEIDON
I
vote no.
PISTHETAIROS
So
now,
it’s up to the Triballian
here. What you say?
TRIBALLIAN
De geerl geeve over greet
souvrin bridies.
HERCULES
There! He says to hand her
over.
POSEIDON
No
by
god!
[1680]
he never said to give her up—no way.
He’s just babbling like a
swallow.
HERCULES
So he said hand her over
to the swallows!
POSEIDON
You two work it out—agree
on peace terms. 2240
Since you’re both for it, I’ll say nothing more.
HERCULES
We ready now to give you
all you ask.
So come along with us in person—
up to heaven—there
you can get your Princess,
and all those other things as
well.
PISTHETAIROS
[pointing to the cooking he’s been preparing]
So these birds were
slaughtered in good time
before the wedding feast.
HERCULES
If
you want to,
I could stay here and roast
the meat. You go.
[1690]
POSEIDON
Roast the meat? You mean
you’d wolf it down,
you glutton. Come on with us.
Let’s
go. 2250
HERCULES [reluctantly
leaving]
I’d have enjoyed eating
that.
PISTHETAIROS
[calling to his slaves]
Hey,
you—
one of you bring me out some
wedding clothes!
CHORUS
In lands of Litigation
there’s a place—
it’s right beside the water
clock—
where that villainous and
thieving race
of tongue-and-belly men all
flock.
They use their tongues to sow
and reap,
to harvest grapes and figs en
masse.
A crude barbarian tribe, a
heap
[1700]
of
Philipses and
Gorgias. 2260
From these horse-loving sycophants,
who use their tongues to cram
their gut,
through all of Attica’s
expanse
in sacrifice the tongue’s
first cut.*
[Enter
Second Herald]
SECOND
HERALD
You here who’ve done fine
things, more wonderful
than I can say, you
thrice-blessed race with wings,
you birds, welcome now your
king on his return,
as he comes back among these
wealthy halls.
Here he approaches—you’ll
never see a star
so bright in any gleaming home
of gold.
[1710]
No—not even the far-reaching rays of sun
have ever shone as splendidly
as he,
the man who brings with him
his lovely wife,
too beautiful for words, and
brandishing
the winged thunderbolt from
Zeus. Sweet smells
are rising up, high into
heaven’s vault,
a glorious spectacle, and
wisps of smoke
from burning incense are blown
far and wide.
Here he is in person. Let the
sacred Muse
open her lips in a
triumphal
holy
song. 2280
[Enter
Pisthetairos and his bride Princess]
CHORUS
Back off, break up, make
room—
[1720]
And wing your way around the man
so blessed with blissful
fortune.
Oh, oh—such beauty and such
youth!
What a blessing for this city
of the birds
is this fine marriage you have
made.
A great good fortune now attends us,
the race of birds—such
mighty bliss,
thanks to this man. So welcome
back
with nuptial chants and
wedding songs
2290
our man himself and his Princess.
Olympian Hera and great Zeus
who rules the gods on lofty
thrones
the Fates once joined with
wedding songs.
O Hymen, Hymenaeus*
And rich young Eros in his golden wings
held tight the reins as
charioteer
at Zeus’ wedding to the happy
Hera.
O Hymen, Hymenaeus,
O Hymen,
Hymenaeus. 2300
PISTHETAIROS
Your chants fill me with
great delight,
as do you songs. And I just
love your words.
CHORUS
Come now, celebrate in
song
earth-shattering thunder,
Zeus’ lightning fire—
which now belong to him—
that dreaded bolt white
lighting, too.
Oh, that great golden blaze of
lightning,
that immortal fiery spear of
Zeus,
and groaning thunders bringing
rain—
[1750]
with
you this man now rattles Earth.
2310
And everything that Zeus once had,
he’s got it all—and
that includes
our Princess, who once sat by
Zeus’ throne.
O Hymen, Hymenaeus!
PISTHETAIROS
Now all you feathered
tribes of friends,
come follow me on this my wedding
flight.
Let’s wing our way up there to
Zeus’ house
and to our wedding bed. Reach
out your hand,
my blissful love, and take
hold of my wing—
[1760]
then
dance with me. I’ll lift and carry
you. 2320
[Pisthetairos
and Princess lead the procession off the stage]
CHORUS
Alalalalai—
Raise triumphal cries of joy,
sing out the noble victor’s
song—
the mightiest and highest of
all gods!
[The
procession exits singing and dancing, accompanying Pisthetairos and his bride
up to Heaven]
Notes
*Execestides: An Athenian descended from Carian
slaves and therefore not entitled to be a citizen. The point here is that he
must have been extremely skilful to get to Athens, given where he started, and
even he couldn’t navigate his way back to Athens in this terrain. [Back
to Text]
*Tereus:
the name of a mythological king of Thrace who married Procne and raped her
sister Philomela. The sisters killed his son and fed Tereus the flesh for
dinner. All three were changed into birds: Tereus into a hoopoe, Procne into a
nightingale, and Philomela into a swallow. Tharreleides: the
reference here seems to be to a well-known member of the audience, perhaps
celebrated for his small size and loud voice. [Back to Text]
*birds: the Greek expression is “to the Ravens,”
meaning “go to hell.” [Back to text]
*Sacas: a name for Acestor, a foreign-born tragic
dramatist. [Back to Text]
*tribe and clan: the political units of Athenian
civic life. [Back to Text]
*basket, pot, and myrtle boughs: these materials
were necessary to conduct the sacrifices at the founding of a new city. [Back to Text]
*twelve
gods: the major Olympian deities, headed by Zeus. [Back
to Text]
*Most
Athenians knew very little about peacocks. [Back to Text]
*Cranaus:
reference to a mythological king who founded Athens or a word derived from kranaos,
meaning rugged, a word often applied to Athens. [Back to Text]
*son
of Scellias: the reference is to a man called Aristocrates, an important
politician-soldier in Athens. [Back to Text]
*difficult
for me: this is a utopian fantasy because the neighbour is suggesting that,
as a punishment, his friend Euelpides would not have to help him if he gets in
financial trouble, even though he’s invited him to an important family
celebration. [Back to Text]
*Red
Sea: a general term for any sea by the southern coasts of Asia. [Back
to Text]
*summons:
Athenian citizens could be legally summoned home for trial. Salamia was an
official ship often used for such voyages. [Back to Text]
*Melanthius’
fault: the reference is to an Athenian tragic dramatist who had a very bad
skin condition (making him look as if he had leprosy). [Back to Text]
*Opuntius:
a widely disliked Athenian informer. A talent’s weight is just under 30
kilograms. [Back to Text]
*Teleus:
Athenian politician with a reputation for being unpredictable. [Back
to Text]
*Melos:
the Athenians committed a horrible atrocity during the Peloponnesian War,
starving the population of Melos and then executing all male citizens. [Back
to Text]
*In
some productions of The Birds the set design permits the audience to see
inside Tereus’ quarters, so that the singer of the songs which follow remains
visible to the audience. Alternatively, Tereus could move out onto a rocky
balcony to deliver his song. It seems dramatically very weak to have him
deliver these lyrics out of sight of the audience. [Back to Text]
*Itys:
son of Tereus and Procne, killed by his mother, who served him up as dinner, in
revenge for Tereus’ rape and mutilation of her sister. [Back
to Text]
*Hipponicus: this passages refers to the Greek
custom of naming children after their grandfathers. Philocles was a tragic
dramatist. Callias, his son, was a notorious spendthrift who squandered his
family inheritance on a debauched lifestyle. [Back to
Text]
*Cleonymus: an Athenian politician well known for
his eating habits and his size. He also reputedly once threw his shield away in
battle and ran off. [Back to Text]
*safer: Pisthetairos refers to a race in which the
runners wore helmets with plumes (crests), but Tereus misunderstands and talks
about mountain crests where the birds live. Caria is in Asia Minor. [Back to Text]
*shaver: the Greek bird kerulos was a
mythological species. The passage here plays on the similarity of the verb keirein
meaning to cut hair. [Back to Text]
*Athens: to bring owls to Athens is an expression
for something totally unnecessary (like bringing coals to Newcastle). [Back to Text]
*Nikias: Athenian general famous for his tactical
skill. [Back to Text]
*Orneai: a siege in which some Athenians took part.
There were no casualties. [Back to Text]
*win: a reference to the fact that The Birds is
competing in a drama festival. [Back to Text]
*Earth: Kronos was the father of Zeus; the Titans
were the sons of Kronos. Earth was the original mother goddess. [Back to Text]
*Halimus: a community on the coast near Athens. [Back to the Text]
*kite: an old Greek custom of saluting the kite as
the bird announcing the arrival of spring by rolling on the ground. This speech
refers to the habit of carrying small coins in the mouth. Having eaten his
money, he can’t buy the food he set out to purchase. [Back to Text]
*These lines are an attempt to deal with an totally obscure
sexual pun in the Greek. [Back to Text]
*Lysicrates gets: a reference to a corrupt Athenian
politician. [Back to Text]
*Lampon: a well known soothsayer in Athens. “By
Goose” is a euphemistic way of swearing “By Zeus.” [Back to Text]
*Kebriones and Porphyrion were two Giants who
fought against the Olympian gods. [Back to the
Text]
*These women all had sexual encounters with gods. Alkmene
and Zeus produced Hercules; Semele and Zeus produced Dionysus; and Alope and
Poseidon produced Hippothoon. [Back to the Text]
*Zan: an archaic and contemptuous name for Zeus. [Back to the Text]
*crow: in legend and folk lore the life span of the
crow was enormous. [Back to Text]
*Nikias: Athenian general, famous for his hesitation
about tactics. [Back to Text]
*Erebus: the primeval darkness. [Back to Text]
*Prodicus: a reference to a well known philosopher
who offered a materialistic explanation for the origin of the gods.[Back to Text]
*These lines refer to the custom of giving one’s lover a bird as a
present. [Back to Text]
*Orestes: the reference is to a well-known thief of other
people’s clothing. [Back to Text]
*In other words, we’re all the oracles you need. Ammon,
Delphi, and Dodona are shrines
famous for prophecy. Apollo is the god of prophecy. [Back to Text]
*Diitrephes: prominent Athenian politician and
general. A horse-cock is a mythological animal with the front of a horse and
the rear of a cock. [Back to Text]
*poor people used esparto grass to make rope chords to hold
up the mattress. Rich folks used linen. The pun here is obviously on
Sparta-esparto. Euelpides won’t have anything to do with Sparta or anything
that sounds like it. [Back to Text]
*Theogenes and Aeschines: two Athenian business men who
constantly boasted they were richer than they were. [Back to Text]
*the giants were the monstrous children of Uranus; the gods
are the Olympians, headed by Zeus. The point here is that Cloudcuckooland is so
great, it’s a place for divine boasting, not just the sort of thing rich
Athenians might brag about. [Back to Text]
*Cleisthenes: a well-known homosexual in Athens, often
satirized by Aristophanes. [Back to Text]
*The officer inspecting the sentries regularly rang a small
bell to indicate that all was well. [Back to Text]
*Hestia: traditional goddess of the hearth. [Back to Text]
*Cleocritus: a very ugly Athenian who was often
compared to an ostrich. [Back to Text]
*The Chians were staunch allies of Athens in the
Peloponnesian War. [Back to Text]
*Simonides: well-known lyric poet of the previous
generation. [Back to Text]
*These lines are a jumble of allusions to well known poems. The
founder of Aetna is Heiron, ruler of Syracuse, whose name is the same as the
word for “of holy things.” In Homer a nod of the head signifies divine assent. [Back to Text]
*Lampon and Diopeithes were well-known soothsayers
in Athens. [Back to Text]
*Meton was a famous astronomer and engineer. [Back to Text]
*Colonus: a district of Athens. [Back to Text]
*Thales: very famous astronomer and thinker from distant
past. Thales is often considered the founder of philosophy. [Back to Text]
*Commissioner: an official who was sent out to supervise
and report on a new colony. [Back to Text]
*Sardanapallos was the last king of Assyria, famous in
legend for his extravagant lifestyle and appearance. [Back to Text]
*Teleas, an Athenian politician, would have proposed
sending the Commissioner out.[Back to Text]
*Pharnakes was an important Persian official. Dealing
with him would be considered treasonous in some quarters. [Back to Text]
*A small town in the remote north east of Greece (by Mount
Athos). [Back to Text]
*At the drama festival formal public announcements like
this were part of the script. Diagoras was a notorious atheist who had fled
Athens. The reward for killing old tyrants was part of a ritual pronouncement
to protect democracy. [Back to Text]
*Alexander: another name for Paris of Troy. [Back to Text]
*The owls of Laureium are coins. The owl was stamped on Athenian
coins, and Laureium was the site of the silver mines. [Back to Text]
*Greek temples commonly had triangular pediments known as
“eagles.” [Back to Text]
*Pisthetairus compares Iris to a ship because her dressing is
billowing like a sail. The two names he gives are the two main flag ships of
the Athenian fleet. [Back to Text]
*Porphyrion was the name of one of the giants who went to
war against Zeus. [Back to Text]
*The lines following refer to a number of political figures
in Athens. [Back to Text]
*This reference is to a very popular betting game in which
a quail was placed inside a circle and tapped on the head to see if it would
back off or stand its ground. [Back to Text]
*Manes is probably another name for Manodoros, since there are
only two slaves in the play [Back to Text]
*I follow Sommerstein’s useful suggestion and add this line here
to make sense of the lines which follow. [Back to Text]
*At the festival for tragic drama, the war orphans were paraded
around in special armour given to them by the state. [Back to Text]
*Cinesias was a well-known and frequently satirized poet in
Athens. He was extremely thin and evidently suffered very badly from diarrhea. [Back to Text]
*The
tribes were the political divisions in Athenian life. The dithyrambic
competitions were organized by tribes, each one wanting the services of the
best poets. [Back to Text]
*Leotrophides was another Athenian famous for being
extremely thin (like Cinesias). [Back to Text]
*The point here seems to be that the Sycophant’s cloak is so thin
and worn that he’s singing for warm weather, when he won’t need it. [Back to Text]
*Cranes reputedly swallowed stones to serve as ballast on their
flights. [Back to Text]
*These lines refer to the notion that meeting up with ghosts of
heroes is all right during the day but harmful at night. There is also another
reference here to the thief Orestes (mentioned earlier by the Chorus Leader)
who beats people and steals their clothes. [Back to Text]
*Thesmophoria: an important religious festival in Greece,
during which there was a period of fasting. [Back to Text]
*Triballians: the name of a barbarian tribe in
Thrace, north of Greece. The Tiballian god who enters with Poseidon and
Hercules a few lines later on cannot speak Greek, so his lines are
incomprehensible gibberish. [Back to Text]
*Prometheus stole fire from heaven and gave it to human
beings. [Back to Text]
*Timon was a legendary Athenian who hated his fellow
citizens. [Back to Text]
*Peisander: an Athenian with a reputation for corruption
and cowardice. Chaerephon was well known as an associate of Socrates. [Back to Text]
*Laespodias: Athenian politician who dressed oddly to
conceal his misshapen legs. [Back to Text]
*A kin group (phrateres) was a group of citizens who shared
a common ancestor. [Back to Text]
*These lines attack the Sophists who earned their living by
teaching rhetoric. Gorgias was a famous sophist and Philip was his pupil and
disciple. They are called horse-loving either to suggest extravagant ambitions
or their non-Athenian tribal origins. In sacrificing an animal, the Athenians
cut out the tongue first. The suggestion seems to be that that’s what the
speaker would like to do with the Sophists. [Back to Text]
*A customary salute to the gods of marriage. [Back to Text]
[Back to johnstonia Home Page]
Page
loads on johnstonia web files
17,759,972
View Stats